Wrongful Hearts
by lawlietlivesforever
Summary: Is it wrong to love someone? If that person is half your age? If that person is the same sex as you? If you love them with all your heart and would die for them? When everyone is against your very being, how do you exist as two, or even as one? Told from Roy's perspective, how he and Ed fell in love,facing the generally homophobic opinions of Amestris. With Violence sex & swearing.
1. Beginning

Before I start, let me just tell you one thing. If you were expecting some sentimental love story about two beautiful people who overcome all odds with the power of true love, then I can tell you right now that you're not going to get it. I promise that it won't end with a deep speech and epic kiss in the rain. There are no cheesy love songs in here either. This is real. As times it's not exactly pleasant, there's a lot of bullshit in here that some people might not like, or might find a little too much. But this is what happens when you love someone in the way I do. And if you don't like it, then you don't have to keep on reading. Go back to your Hollywood world of happy endings and pretty main characters if you just want something full of 'feels'. If not, read on. Anyways, I'm getting a little off topic. This is the story of me and Ed.

* * *

I looked out of the train window to see the rain beat down relentlessly, turning the landscapes that flashed by into a greyish blur. The sound of the water constantly pounding the glass was the sound heard in the silent compartment. Sitting across from me was none other than the Fullmetal pipsqueak, sorry _Alchemist. _I sighed to myself as I looked out at the blurred windows. Right now I would have given anything to work with someone who _wasn't_ Fullmetal. This mission would be hard enough for me. The last thing I needed was for Fullmetal to come along with his perfect morals and golden ideals, leaving me in shame. The compartment had been filled with a heavy silence for the first half hour of the journey, and I had to admit that I liked it that way. We'd left each other to our thoughts, for there seemed to be a lot more of them than I'd expected. It was going to be hard to show my face there again, and I really didn't think that a 'useless' joke would pick up my mood right now

"The rain looks pretty bad out there." A voice said. The sudden sound made me jump a little before I realised that it was just Ed talking. He was looking out the window too, dressed in his usual outfit of all black paired with his much-loved long red jacket.

"Yeah." I responded, trying to sound as casual as possible.

"How useless do you think that'll make you on a scale of one to ten?" He joked, grinning widely. I glared at him. On a good day, I'd take a jibe at the pitfalls of my flame alchemy moderately well, only rolling my eyes or firing back a retort. But today was definitely not a good day, and I wasn't in the mood at all to put up with this shit.

"I am not going to deal with your crap right now shorty." I said coldly, emphasising the word _shorty_. Ed thought he could make a joke out of me? Well two could play at that game. It was always fun to watch Ed get angry when someone called him short, and then wait until you heard his ill-thought-up response. Childishly firing insults between the two of us seemed to be a norm. It was like a secret handshake, it was just how our relationship worked.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT YOU NEED A MICROSCOPE TO SEE? I CAN KICK YOUR ASS ANY DAY COLONEL USELESS!" He yelled angrily, jumping up from his seat, getting all hot and bothered. Unable to help myself, I smiled. It was funny how a kid so intelligent and talented got that mad at the use of one little word. Maybe it was the whole teenager thing, making him self-conscious about himself.

"Colonel Useless? I think that's a new one." I replied, not paying full attention to the conversation at hand. At that point, the train went through a tunnel, and the compartment we were in was instantly filled with darkness. All that I could see was the faint shadow of Ed, and then I decided to stop with the short jokes. And the milk jokes. And the Edward Cullen ones. (Those ones _really_ piss him off). I needed to focus on the task we had been given. Getting this done successfully could easily mean a promotion. Failing just wasn't going to be an option.

"Listen, Fullmetal, we've got a lot of work to do here, so why don't we keep the annoying jokes and insults to a minimum and try and finish up as quickly as possible?" I said, sounding reasonable and strangely politician-like. Ed just looked at me for a second, surprised.

"Uh, sure?" He said, confused. The rest of the journey was much like the first half-hour of it. We didn't speak much. Now that I look back, I'm not too sure if it was because we had nothing to say, or we just didn't know how to say it.

Finally, the long train ride came to a halt and we got out. There was no station nearby, of course, so once we exited the small station, we had to hail a taxi. After loading everything into the car, it began to head down the dusty desert tracks.

"Mustang, you never fully explained what we're doing here." Ed said.

"Publicity. We help out, make friends with the locals, reassure them that the military is on _their _side. Make them feel comfortable." I responded, wondering if he could hear the slight note of pride in my voice. It was actually _my_ idea to do this. I thought that after everything the Ishbalians had been through, they probably wouldn't be too kind towards military officials. I reckoned that if we could make them feel like we'd be there for them, they'd have a better relationship with us. Otherwise things would get a little hairy, especially if they refused soldiers on their soil. Then, the defenceless Ishbal would be prey to an attack from nearby Aerugo. I got a few brownie points for explaining my theory to the people in high command, and if it all went down well, I could have just been joining them pretty soon.

"So this is just you smiling for a bunch of pictures," Ed said harshly, "Not actually _trying_ to make life better for these people." I didn't have a response to that. So I simply busied myself with getting out of the crowded station and into our hotel.

Our 'hotel' turned out to be a small little inn run by a kindly old woman. It was small and slightly dilapidated, but it seemed to have fared better than every other building we'd passed. The walls were cracked and the paint on the sign outside was peeling. Usually this would have been the kind of place I would have stayed a mile away from, not even considering entering without being equipped with litres of disinfectant and insect killer. But then again, desperate times called for desperate measures. The few people we saw on the way gave us looks of hatred as they saw my crisp blue uniform. This was going to be a challenge. Entering the inn, it seemed worse on the inside than on the exterior. The old wallpaper was peeling and in places I could see cracks and spots of damp. The old woman who owned it was sitting behind a small wooden desk that looked like it had seen better days. In fact, everything in the room looked like it had seen better days, even the old woman herself. Next to her was a wilting green plant which was clearly half-dead. It didn't look like this was going to a pleasant stay.

"Hello," I said, pulling off my classic charming smile at the old woman sitting at the front desk. "Roy Mustang and Edward Elric. I believe we have two rooms booked." The woman smiled over the counter at me as she flicked through a stack of papers which had been neatly laid on her desk. I sensed Ed rolling his eyes from behind me, obviously annoyed by my skills of communicating with the other gender.

The old woman gave me the keys and smiled. She seemed nice enough. It was a short walk to our rooms. Ed entered his without a word, and I entered mine and closed the door behind me.

It's not that I was expecting five-star luxury, but I can't say that it was exactly satisfactory. It was rather small. The walls were covered in so much filth it was hard to tell if they were originally white or cream. Against one, there was a small, uncomfortable-looking bed without any sheets. There was a broken fan hanging precariously from the ceiling. The only light came from one small window which was dirty and cracked. The desk below it was small and crooked. It looked as if it couldn't hold a single sheet of paper. I dropped my bag down on the dusty floor and opened the closet. The doorknob fell off in my hand, and I found myself staring at a small space with a broken rail. I shuddered as I looked at the large spider which had made a dark corner its home. At least someone here was feeling welcome.

After spending several minutes trying unsuccessfully to make the room resemble something habitable, I decided that it was best to get started. I knocked on Ed's door and waited impatiently for him to answer. He opened the door and I saw that his room was about as terrible as mine, although he seemed to have no problem with it.

The rain still poured down on us as we headed out. Everywhere I looked, I saw ruins, mess, and misery. No matter how bad I was expecting it to be, I was still shocked to see it. Here I was, thinking that the war had left me scarred because I the things that happened haunted me. But at least I had shelter, food, clothes and all these things that I take for granted. I'd taken these away from all these helpless people

_"Hero of Ishbal" _I thought to myself _"Some kind of hero I am"_

* * *

**Hey! This is the re-re-rebooted Wrongful Hearts! *YAY FOR SUCKY WRITING!* Hopefully, I got it right this time! Anyways, I want you all to PLEASE tell me what you think! I want ALL the constructive criticism you can possibly give. And since Roy's here, I can't exactly say no to flames! (That's right. FLAME AS MUCH AS YOU WANT! IT'LL ONLY MAKE ME A BETTER WRITER!)**

**Anyways! Enjoy and review! And tell me in your reviews… Do you want me to update chapter 16 or reboot chapter 2 first?**


	2. The Most Hated Man In Ishbal

So where did I leave the story off last time? Oh yeah. I was walking through destroyed Ishbal and thinking about how much of that shit was my fault. I really can't tell you how bad I felt. I actually _saw_ everything that I'd done. I mean, these were real people whose lives I destroyed for a promotion. Sometimes I make myself sick. I'm off topic again. I should get back to what happened next.

* * *

A young woman walked up to me. She couldn't have been more than three years younger than me, but I could tell by her dirty clothes and the premature lines set in her face that she'd been through so much more than I ever would. She was angry. No, that doesn't fit, she was furious.

"How _dare_ you show your face here again!" She yelled, "Do you _know _ how many families have to live on the streets now? Or does that even matter to you the great '_Hero of Ishbal'_?" She spat the word 'Hero' out sarcastically, and I didn't blame her.

"Look," I began to reason, my voice automatically sounding like a politician's again, "I'm here to help _rebuild_ Ishbal. I want to right my wrongs." She didn't believe a word of it, and left, yelling a little more abuse. I wondered if everyone here would be as hateful to me as her. _Of course Dumbass! _My brain instantly responded.

I felt bad enough as I saw countless families crowed around small fires, doing their best to keep warm. For once, I didn't know how to react. I just watched. I watched Ed tirelessly help people. That was one thing I liked about that kid. Whenever he saw someone who needed help, he did whatever he could. It was pretty sweet of him. In fact, pretty enduring. As much as he annoyed me, he was a good kid.

After this deep moment, I thought that it was time that I tried to help some people myself. This was hard to start, seeing as everyone seemed to prefer Ed over me. They gave me looks of contempt and turned away in an instant. Which really does wonders for your self-esteem if you were curious. I saw a little girl. She was alone, and holding a small doll, which looked had been ripped in two. There were tears in her eyes. This was my chance. Someone who didn't know me as the 'hero' of Ishbal. Someone who wasn't prejudiced, holding a grudge from many years ago against me. She was just someone who would need help. Who'd let anyone give it to her. I walked up to her and kneeled down in front of her.

"Would you like me to fix your dolly?" I asked, trying to smile harmlessly at her. The girl said nothing but held out the doll towards me. I took it, and quickly fixed it. Using my alchemical powers 'for the good of the people' for once. I handed the doll back to her, and for a second, she smiled. I smiled too. One less person who hated my very existence. She opened her mouth, maybe about to thank me, when a woman who was probably her mother appeared, grabbing her by the hand and pulling her away.

"Come on, we don't need these people's pity." She said. And I was left there. Alone in the rain, feeling rather downtrodden.

"Mustang!" A loud voice cut sharply through the rain. It was Ed. "Are you alright?" He asked. His golden eyes looked concerned as he rushed over to me. I was still on my knees, staring into nothingness.

"Yeah." I answered quickly, unwilling to show how I really felt. I needed to look strong and determined to make this place better. If I looked weak, who was going to listen to me? Nobody wanted an emotional leader, so I told myself to suck it up and carry on. Ed didn't seem accept my lie but said nothing more on the topic. As we carried on, Ed talking to most people, while I occasionally was able to help, I saw more hateful stares at me. I heard plenty of heckles shouted at me by passing citizens. I tried to tune these words out, but it didn't work. They dug their way into my brain and refused to come out.

The more people I tried to help, the more they turned away from me, told me that they didn't want my pity, said that they would rather have no help at all. I found it harder and harder to look like the strong military force we were meant to be representing. I was sure I was about to crack.

Ed on the other hand was doing well. He helped people, talked to them, made them feel safer than I could have. There was something about him that made you believe that he was there to make the situation better. Maybe those bright youthful eyes filled people with hope, maybe his passion for fairness and equality made people feel like he would constantly be there for them. Whatever it was, Ed had a way of making this work, and I was just the most hated man in Ishbal.

A few hours later we trekked back to the inn. I opened the door to my room and flopped onto the uncomfortable bed in my sodden clothes. It was still raining heavily outside and water was leaking through the small cracked window. I could still hear it roaring outside. It fit the mood of today really well, but that didn't make me feel any better. I was still extremely detested. The only difference was that now I couldn't use flame alchemy and I was soaking wet. I thought that this would be easier. Maybe that people were ready to accept any help. That people could tell how sorry I felt and how badly I wanted to make everything right. I guess I was wrong, but then again, I was wrong about a lot of things. I heard a knock on the door.

"It's open." I said. The door opened with a creak and Ed stuck his head in.

"Can I come in?"

* * *

**Chapter 2! PEOPLE PLEASE _COMMENT _ AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! Be 100% _HONEST_ please! If it sucks balls, tell me it sucks balls. Tell me what you like and what you don't like. PLEASE!**


	3. Bring Me To Life

What is a person _really _like? I mean, when you strip away the pretend stuff and their exterior, what are you left with? You're left with their true personality. Not what people think them to be, but what they actually are. Seeing who people actually are sucks, but we have to pretend. We have to live our false lives inside these shells to get where we want. But sometimes these shells crack, and when they do, you're left with these soft weak things that are barely recognizable. And sometimes barely alive. At that point they wish for one thing and one thing only. Someone to bring them to life.

* * *

I looked over at the door and muttered a yes. Ed entered and sat down next to me. The old bed creaked loudly.

"You're not alright." He said. It wasn't a question, it was a statement. I said nothing.

"Look, Mustang, opinions change. Just because these people hate you, it doesn't mean they always will." He reasoned. I found that hard to believe. I saw how deeply down that hate inside those people burned. And I could see why. I mean, who would forgive someone who destroyed their lives so much?

"I'm pretty sure they will." I responded, looking down at my lap. I couldn't face looking into his face right now. No doubt he'd look worried. I hated to admit it back then, but we cared about each other a lot. Even though we insulted each other on a daily basis, somewhere in there was a little love. And I couldn't bear to see him worry about me.

"What makes you say that?" He asked, probing deeper into my troubles.

"I am just that military dick that ruined every single one of their lives and then thought that if he just apologized, built a couple of houses and smiled for a few pictures, everything would be alright." I still didn't look at him, but I could feel his gaze boring into me, cutting past my flesh and seeing right into my soul.

"You're not." Ed simply replied. The statement shocked me enough to make me look up at him. I found myself staring into his large golden eyes. Somehow, I'd always assumed that Ed never thought that much of me. I don't know why, but I did.

_How can you see into my eyes, like open doors?  
Leading you down into my core, where I've become so numb  
Without a soul, my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold  
Until you find it there and lead it back home_

"Then who am I?" My voice rose, momentarily enraged, before the meaning of the words hit me. I slumped putting my face in my hands. Who _was _I? Really, who was I? I had lived in the mask of Colonel Mustang for so long I didn't what I would find underneath it anymore

"You're Colonel Mustang," Ed said, an undeserved touch of admiration in his voice. "The flame alchemist, the one who won't stop until he becomes fuhrur, the guy who'll fight to the death for the people he cares about." I got up and walked over to the small leaky window, trying to hide my face as my cold expression broke and feelings flooded through.

"Yeah right. I'm that narcissistic douche who hits on women all the time and makes his subordinates do most of his work." I snapped back. I looked out of the window. That was my identity. Whether I liked it or not, I would always be Colonel Mustang, the 'hero of Ishbal'. It felt like I was trapped in one of those dreams where you keep running and running but you can't get very far, then the thing that's chasing you catches up, and then it's the end.

_Wake me up  
Wake me up inside  
I can't wake up  
Wake me up inside  
Save me  
call my name and save me from the dark  
Wake me up  
bid my blood to run  
I can't wake up  
before I come undone  
Save me  
save me from the nothing I've become_

"I don't _want _to be this cold, informal military guy who shows no feeling. I _can't_ be that guy. Not for much longer. You know, I can never stop thinking about what I did here. The pain I put people through. And now that I'm seeing it again, I _know_ 'Colonel Mustang' is some sort of a soulless monster." I noticed that there was a tear running down my cheek. I didn't bother to wipe it away. Let it fall, what difference would one drop of saltwater make in my sea of self-hate?

"Then don't be 'Colonel Mustang'. Be the you that's here right now."

"A vulnerable, weak and emotional Roy?" I asked. "That me would get eaten alive if I was in command. There was a reason why I don't show my feelings so much. I can't look weak in front of-"

"In front of what? The enemy? This isn't a battlefield, Mustang, it's your _life._"

"If I look weak then they'll _never_ let me be fuhrur. I doesn't matter what I _feel,_ I have to be strong to lead!" I yelled. Ed wasn't taken aback by this at all, it was almost as if he was expecting it. How deep into me could those golden eyes see?

"But who do you need to be a strong leader for right now?" Ed asked. He seemed to always ask the questions that troubled my mind the most.

_now that I know what I'm without  
you can't just leave me  
breathe into me and make me real  
bring me to life_

I walked back to the bed and sat down again.

"I don't know. Myself?" I offered. Ed didn't say anything, he just looked at me. That look again. I wanted to hate it, but for some reason I couldn't.

"I don't think you deserve a dick like him to rule over you." Ed smiled at me. I looked at him as smiled weakly back at him despite myself. Tears were still running down my face but I didn't care. I had someone who liked me for the man I am, not the man that I pretend to be. I knew that Ed would help me. He'd save me from this mess I'd got myself into. He'd save me from the nothing I'd become.

_frozen inside without your touch  
Without your love, darling  
only you are the life among the dead_

"Thanks." I said, " I guess I don't." I couldn't believe that Ed had been here for so long, yet this had never happened before. I wanted him. No, I needed him, like I needed food, or water. I needed him with me to fix me, to make me whole.

_all this time I can't believe I couldn't see  
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me  
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems  
got to open my eyes to everything  
Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul  
don't let me die here  
there must be something more  
bring me to life_

"And for the record, I like _this_ Roy more." Ed added. I couldn't find the words to describe how that made me feel, so I hugged him. I just wrapped my arms around him and held him tightly. For once, I felt at piece with myself.

_Bring me to life_  
_I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside_  
_Bring me to life_

* * *

**First of all, that song is called Bring me to life  by  Evanescence  and if you haven't heard of it, well then you REALLY have not experienced true music. Anyways, chapter 4 is coming, so PLEASE KEEP COMMENTING. CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM PLEASE!**


	4. Roy'

What happens after a person breaks? How long are they left in a mess before they get their life back together and carry the fuck on? Sometimes it takes ages, months or years, even never. But occasionally, you find that person who pulls you back together and holds you there. That special person who is your rock, your glue, your… whatever. You can call them whatever the hell you want to, but it always means the same thing. That one person who makes everything OK, who'll be there for you through whatever. That one person is your true love.

* * *

I woke up the next day feeling… different. I must have slept in an awkward position because when I woke up, I felt stiff and my back and neck were aching. But there was more than that. I felt better somehow, as if some heavy weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I hadn't felt it until it was gone, and now I felt so much more free. I sat up and stretched, trying to ease to ease the pain and stiffness. It helped a little, but not much. Casually looking over to my left, I nearly had a heart attack. There was Ed, lying next to me. I thought back to last night. The last thing I remembered was hugging him. Did we fall asleep in each other's arms? Or did something else happen? I hoped not.

"Ed?" I asked quietly, not still sitting. Ed moaned a response and turned over, still asleep for a second. Then he saw me and awoke with a start.

"HOLY FUCK!" He yelled, "What the hell happened?"

"I don't know. I don't _want _to know, and let's just agree not to tell _anyone_ about this." I responded quickly. We were both pretty panicky at this time. You see, Amestris isn't exactly very _accepting_ of people from different shades of the sexuality rainbow. _(A/N FUCK YES RAINBOWS. This analogy is pretty well done, is it not? Anyways, I shall shut up now and let the story commence)_ It was best for all of us that nobody heard about this.

"Agreed." Ed answered quickly before hurrying out of my room before anyone could see him in the hall. You might think that we were being a little too paranoid, but seriously, coming out of the closet here is like planning your funeral. I'm not joking, we'd be fucking killed.

We silently ate breakfast and then set out to work. I gotta admit, I was a little nervous. It was that kind of tension that you feel on the first day of school, when you worry about if anyone will like you or if you have to spend lunch alone in the library.

Starting like we did yesterday, we walked around the area, looking for people in need. Thankfully, the rain had stopped, but it was still pretty cloudy. I saw a man struggling to light a fire he'd built in a garbage can. Ed nudged me. This was my chance. I walked up to that man, and tried to be 'Roy'. I didn't stand tall and proud like a military asshole, I tried to look like a real person as much as possible.

"Let me help you with that." I said, relieved that the politician's tone had disappeared from my voice. Now is sounded deep and sincere. Like someone who actually wanted to help. The man looked shocked for a second, but then stepped to the side. I lit the fire quickly and then walked away. The man didn't thank me.

"One step at a time." Ed said, his hand on my shoulder. It was then that I realised that it was extremely stupid to think that the Ishbalians would instantly fall in love with my new self. It would take time. Plenty of time until they'd see how much I'd changed. I wasn't expecting them to forgive me. I just wanted them to accept me.

As we helped people, the amount of time I spent with Ed led me to see new things in him that I hadn't seen before. His blond hair blew in the gentle wind, making his pale face stand out more. I found myself watching the determined look that filled the golden eyes I got so easily lost in. But most of all, I loved how he smiled. This kid had been through a lot of stuff, and most of the time he looked so serious, but when he smiled, he didn't look like the amazing 'Fullmetal Alchemist', he didn't look like famous killer of homunculi. When he smiled, all that left his face like it had been lifted off, and underneath was that adorable innocence of a kid. It was like he was just a regular kid again, and somehow, his smiles were infectious. Every time he's made a family's lives better, he smiled that beautiful smile of his and I couldn't help but to follow suit.

Ed looked at _me_ differently too. Maybe last night, we'd seen each other in a new light around the time we hugged. Suddenly, I felt the urge to hug him again. I wanted to hold him tight and never let him go. We'd keep each other safe from the troubles of the world. _'What am I thinking?'_ My mind instantly screamed at these thoughts. Why was Ed making me feel like this? What the fuck was going on with me?

My thoughts were interrupted as I bumped into someone. I looked up, still a little dazed, and saw the woman who had insulted me yesterday.

"You're _still_ here? Can't you understand that we don't _want_ you here?" She said, her voice full of understandable scorn.

"Listen," I began, sounding very _human_ this time, " I know that by all means I don't deserve to be forgiven. But let me tell you something. After what happened there, I wasn't the same. I was haunted. Every day, I couldn't sleep, because all I could think about was the lives that I fucked up. When I closed my eyes, I saw people dying again and again. I heard screams and cries of pain. For god's sake, they drove me half insane. I came here because I _needed_ to help you. I was about to crack, and I thought that if I could help some people, it would start to make up for what I did."

"And how are you going to make up for all the pain and suffering we went through?" You can't just fix that by building a couple of houses. You can't expect us to just forgive you!" She replied.

"I'm not asking for you to forgive me. Hell, I'm even asking to forgive myself. I just want to _not_ be the 'Hero of Ishbal' any more. What I did wasn't heroic, and I don't deserve that title." I replied.

"They who are you, Colonel?" I paused for a minute, before the answer came to my mind.

"I'm Roy." I said, a hint of victory in my voice. The woman stepped aside without saying anything, but it was clear that she was thinking. Thinking that maybe she'd been a little harsh. Possibly, she'd realised how much I'd changed.

We were busy help people for the rest of the day. Transmuted homes from the rubble and lighted fires with a new light in my eyes. The people of Ishbal didn't say thanks, but I didn't need it. All I needed was the look of joy in their eyes, and the thought that maybe they were starting to come around to the new me.

I'd just transmuted a house for an elderly woman. She seemed kind enough, and reminded me a little of the woman who ran the inn we were staying at. When I gestured towards he home, there were tears of joy in her eyes. I smiled at this. Little by little, Ishbal was being healed. We could plant the seeds of hope that'd grow into a strong nation (_A/N analogy… WIN. Sorry, I just had to say that I'm surprised I came up with such deep words. Anyways, we really should get back to the story. I promise I won't butt in again :P_)

"Thank you. You came back to try and make up for what you did, and I admire your bravery, young man. Maybe you really are the hero of Ishbal." The old woman said.

"Please, call me Roy." I said , and left with a smile.

"Ed?" I called. He wasn't there. It was getting pretty late by now. Maybe he'd already headed back to the inn.

"Have you seen the boy I came with?" I asked the woman at the front desk the minute I entered the inn.

"No. Why? Is everything alright?" She asked. Fuck. He'd probably got lost. What the hell was I going to do now? I ran out onto the street, starting to get pretty worried now.

"Have you seen the boy I came with?" I asked again and again. most people shook their heads. Now I was getting _really_ worried. Where _was_ he?

"ED? ED? WHERE ARE YOU?" I screamed out in vain. There was no response other than people looking over at me as if I was insane. I ran through the streets, panicking. The only thoughts going through my head were _Ed. Where are you? WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!_

Eventually I ran out of breath and had to stop running. I must have covered a lot of ground, and there was still no sign of him.

Ed was gone.

* * *

**WOOT! This is my longest chapter so far. Also, I apologise for the yaoi blocking and my random author's notes in the middle of the chapter. (SORRY!) Anyways I want you all to REVIEW! Tell me what you think! This story will only get better if you tel me what you want. XOX Stay tuned for chapter 5!**


	5. Missing

Panic can drive you insane. Your heart races, and your mind flashes. You can't think straight for a second and everything feels like somebody's hit a fast-forwards button. All you can imagine is the worst-case-scenario. Panic sucks. It throws you off your game. But it's not something you can help. It just … happens. Yeah. That's all I can say about this.

* * *

He was gone. The realisation hit me like a sledgehammer while I stood in the street. I fell to my knees. Ed was gone. What the hell was I supposed to do? How was I meant to find him? A million thoughts I'd have rather not think of came to my head. He'd been kidnapped and sold as a sex slave, his organs had been harvested to be sold on the black market. He'd been brutally murdered.

People walking on the street stopped to look at me. I didn't care anymore. They could look all they wanted.

"Are you… looking for that little boy you were travelling with?" Came a voice from behind me.

"He doesn't like being called 'little'." I responded automatically. I stood up and turned around to face the source of the voice. It was that woman who seemed to hate me. Well _this_ was awkward… Thankfully, she took my answer as a yes and continued talking.

"I think I might know where he went." She said. The words lifted my spirits. I could find him. I'd find him, and then everything would be OK. And it would be just like it was before. Nothing would go wrong and then we'd spend the rest of our time in Ishbal helping everyone peacefully, and then everyone would like me! _'Okay, now that's going a bit TOO far.'_ I thought. for now, I just needed to worry about finding Ed.

"Where?" I demanded. She led me through the streets that I'd just run through until we reached a small, shack. Half of it was standing tall as if it had just been built. The other half was dilapidated, and looked as if a slight breeze would send it crashing down.

"I saw him transmuting this house not too long ago. The people who live here will probably have some idea of where he's gone." She said, gesturing towards the shack. Together we walked to the shack and I knocked gently on the door. Any harder and it would've probably fall down. Why _would_ Ed leave a home half-repaired? That wasn't like him.

A middle-aged man answered the door. He was bald and a little overweight, but he seemed kind enough. Apparently him and the woman knew each other because the moment he saw her, he stepped aside, inviting us into the small home. The shack was small. It seemed to be all one room, with a bed in rather worse condition than the ones at the inn standing in one corner and a small fireplace in another. There were a few cupboards and kitchen appliances against one wall, but there was no other furniture apart from a small wooden table. The woman led me to the table where we all sat down.

"Have you seen the kid I came here with?" I asked immediately. Every second I wasted felt like a second too many. Ed could be in extreme danger right now, and he might need my help. And I couldn't exactly help him if I was sitting here discussing the weather or whatever people do when they're in an awkward conversation.

"As a matter of fact I have." He said.

"Really? Do you know where he went?" I demanded excitedly, almost jumping up from the table. Ed wasn't _completely_ gone. I could track him down. It might take a while but I didn't care. I talk to every single person in Ishbal if I had to. I just wanted him back. No. It was so much more than that. I _needed_ him back. There was no logical reason why, but I just wanted to find him, to hold him tightly and make sure that everything was going to be ok.

But _why?_ Why did I want to hold him so tightly, and why did I need to know that he was safe and sound? Was it just me feeling parental after all we'd been through? Somehow I doubted it.

"Well, you see…" The man began slowly, " My shack was in pretty bad shape. I mean _now_ it looks a whole lot nicer, but before there were timbers falling down everywhere, and it smelt like it was rotting. I think that's because it _was_ rotting. But anyways, I was trying to think about how I could fix it up a little. You know, I don't think I'd be able to do much, just make sure it didn't fall down and probably do something about the smell… But then, that little kid came up and asked me if I wanted a hand repairing it. Now at first I wasn't sure whether to say yes or not, 'cause the kid told me he was a state alchemist. But then I thought to myself, 'hey, he's a little young to have been a part of the war ain't he?' So then I said "sure, do what you can." And then I was watching as he fixed up half the house in less than a second! So then I said…"

"That's all very interesting sir, but I just need to know where he went." I cut off his ramblings. Right now, I couldn't stand to waste a single second.

"Ok then. So he'd fixed up half the shack and he was just about to fix the other side, when a car drove up. It was a pretty old car, I mean it was all rusted and everything. So then, a man comes out the car. He stood out a lot. He was wearing a long black coat and a black fedora tilted so that you couldn't see his face. He didn't sound like he was from here. His accent was more like the way they talk in the west, really."

"Get on with it." The woman rushed.

"Alright, alright. So he goes up to the little kid, and says something to him. I was too far away to hear, but it sounded like he was asking the kid for help of some kind. Then the kid came up to me and said something about a hospital in Kanda. Now I thought of that as a little odd seeing as there never was a hospital in Kanda, but who am I to judge? So then he told me he was sorry, but it couldn't wait, and he got into the car and they drove off." The man finished, and then stared at the half of his shack that seemed to defy the rules of physics by staying up. I bit my lip. I needed to find Ed but wouldn't leaving this man living in these conditions undermine the whole reason of why I was here? Silently, I walked up to a wall that hadn't been repaired. I placed both hands on it and transmuted the rest of the shack. Repairing the damage that the Amestrian army had caused not so long ago. The man walked up to me, his eyes filled with gratitude.

"Thank you young man. I hope you find your little friend." He said.

"I do too." For some reason, a tear formed in my eye while I said this.

We left the shack and I stood for a second in the street, trying to work out where I needed to go. The woman gave me what might have been a smile. She nodded in the direction that she'd started walking in.

"Come with me." She said.

"Alright, but why do you want to help me?" I asked. How had a woman gone from hating me to going out of her way so much to help? It didn't make any sense.

"Maybe you've changed, and maybe you haven't, but that kid might be in trouble. He seems pretty innocent, and I couldn't stand the guilt if he got hurt."

"Same here." I replied. We both wanted to save Ed, and that was what mattered. We had differences, but this wasn't about _us_ or our problems. I was about one thing and one thing only. Ed.

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**Hiya! Sorry I took a while to upload this, but anyways, I hope you like it. PLEASE COMMENT/REVIEW! I need CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. Tell me if you hate it, and what about it you hate.**


	6. Search

Everyone has that one person in the world that they would do anything for. That one person who means more to them than their own lives. When that person needs help, you drop everything and instantly rush to their side. I know that it sounds like a line from some crappy love story, but it's true. Sometimes it's family, a friend or a lover. The point is that their lives are more important to you than yours. And you would do everything in your power to make sure that they're ok. It's just the way we are as human beings.

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The woman led me quickly through the streets. I had no idea where she was going, but she walked fast, and it was enough of a challenge for me to keep up with her.

"Where are we going?" I asked a little breathlessly.

"You can't seriously expect to _walk_ to Kanda, can you? Ishbal is small, but it isn't that tiny. I want to make it to the station in time for the next bus." She said, not breaking step or even turning around to face me. Somehow I got a feeling that everything wasn't completely patched up between the two of us just yet.

"Why don't we just get a cab?" I asked. The woman stopped walking abruptly for a second, as if thinking about something, before carrying on walking.

"Do you know how much a cab to Kanda would cost? It'd make more sense to walk." She said, and hurried ahead. I realised how little people stopped to think about the trouble we'd caused these people. Sure, it would be easy to build homes, but what about their jobs? I didn't think anybody in Ishbal had too much money to spare.

"I'll pay." I said, " You're helping me, so it makes sense that I'm the one paying."

So we got a cab. _Getting_ it was hard enough. There seemed to be very few cab drivers around here. It was starting to dawn on me just how much help these people actually needed. Just fixing a few buildings wouldn't be enough. They needed jobs, they needed more order, and they needed a lot more help than I could give them.

The journey was pretty long. For the entire time, I stared out the window thinking about Ed. _I'm coming. Don't worry. I'm on my way. You'll be safe soon._ I thought, hoping that somehow, these thoughts would travel towards him. They'd reassure him, and make him feel safe, and loved.

_Loved._ That word stayed in my head. I used to think that he was just some annoying undersized brat, and now look at me, dropping everything to rush to his side. I guess that I felt a little parental towards him after all the shit we'd been through together. But something deep inside me told me that it was more than just parental feeling towards Ed. I mean, why else did I want to hold him so badly? I didn't think any parent in the world felt about their child the way I felt about Ed.

The cab stopped and sharply brought me back to reality. I paid the cab driver and gave him a generous tip. Then we got out of the cab and looked around. The place was in worse shape than anything I'd seen so far. It made me feel a hell of a lot worse, but that didn't matter. I turned to face the woman.

"Where to now? I thought the man said that there _is_ no hospital in Kanda. Why are we here?" I asked, suddenly remembering that rather important fact.

"Kanda is Ishbal's capital for organised crime," She replied abruptly "If a robbery or a kidnapping happens, _someone_ here will know about it." Making a mental note to keep an eye on my wallet, I thought that it would be best if we got the information we needed and got out of there as soon as possible. That place was a little creepy.

"So, I'm guessing that we go into a bar or something?" I said.

And that was exactly what we did. She led me to a rather filthy-looking bar that looked as if it had never been cleaned. But then again, it was one of the only businesses that were standing and still open. That had to be some kind of an achievement. I was about to open the door when the woman stopped me.

"If you walk in like that then there's no way in hell we're going to get any information at all." She said, drawing on a good point. I needed to hide my face if I wanted to get around quickly. Across the street there was a small clothing store. I ran in and quickly bought a hat. I pulled it low over my face so that it could barely be seen. The brim blocked some of my sight, but that didn't matter too much. Right now, the only thing that mattered was that I was unrecognisable.

We went in and saw that it was full of life. That seemed surprising seeing as it was the middle of the day, but I don't think I'm one to judge. They all cheered loudly as the woman walked in, it seemed that they knew her. Whether that was a good thing or not, I wasn't sure.

I walked over to the bar and ordered a whiskey on the rocks. The bartender looked at me for a second, and then handed the glass to me.

"We don't get ones like you around here much." He commented. I looked at him questioningly for a moment.

"Sorry?" I asked, unsure what the man was talking about.

"Amestrians. Not a lot of them come this way, and I'm not surprised. I can see why most of them wouldn't want to show their faces again after what they did. Only the ones who are up to something stop by here. There aren't many police around, so we get a lot of people wanting cover and a break from the law." He explained, drying a glass. "What exactly are you here for if you don't mind me asking? You look as if you could afford to be in a place a little better than this."

"I'm looking for someone." I responded. The man looked at me, wanting to hear more.

"A man. Amestrian. Wearing a long black coat and a black hat. Maybe with a blond boy." I stated. When I got to the words 'blond boy' I felt strange. Two words weren't enough to describe Ed. He wasn't just some blond boy, he was short, easily angered and a little foul-mouthed for a kid his age. But he was also, intelligent, kind, hardworking, honest, caring, and beautiful. It didn't feel right to call him a blond boy. He was so much more.

"Well, I don't know about a blond boy but I certainly saw a man like that. 'Master' he calls himself; because he dresses up like a sir for his business. Said he couldn't stay long, he had to head back home quickly. Something important for his business."

"And what business would that be?" I asked, sure that the answer wouldn't please me.

"The sex trade." He said.

My heart dropped.

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**Finally chapter six. This one took me a while to think of. Sorry folks. Anyways, things are getting serious now! To all the people who stuck through the fluff, I promise action WILL be coming soon! But please please review. Tell me what you like and more importantly tell me what you DON'T LIKE! I can take the criticism. Please comment! **


	7. West

What do you do when a nightmare comes true? When the worst thing that could possibly happen, happens? How would _you_ react? I mean honestly. Would you confront it? Or would you just run and hide? Most people would run and hide. But sometimes you can't. There are more important things in the world than staying safe, like other people. Because what if someone else is in danger? Then your fears seen trivial compared to theirs. And then you're forced to be strong. Not for yourself, but for them.

"You can't be serious." I said. He couldn't be. Out of all the people in Ishbal, why Ed? Why did Ed have to be the one to go through this? After so much had happened to him already, why this?

"Of course I am. You can't have been here much if you think _that's_ bad. I've had worse things happen on my doorstep!" But I didn't want to hear about the things worse than Ed's fate. I just needed more than ever to find him. To keep him safe. To stop that man from- . No. I couldn't even think about it.

"Where exactly was he going?" I asked.

"West," The man said. "West city to be exact. He uses an abandoned warehouse as his… headquarters you could say. Why are you so set on finding him anyways?" He now leant over the bar, clearly expecting me to tell him a long and deep story.

"He has a friend of mine." I said. " And I want to find him, make sure that he's completely safe." The man nodded to himself and then left to serve another customer. I was left sitting in the bar alone. I drained my glass in a second and then stood up, throwing a decent amount of change onto the counter. I looked around for the woman that had come to help me and found her.

"Thanks for all your help, but I think I'll make the rest of this journey on my own." I said.

"Are you sure?" She asked. In her eyes I saw what could have been a spark of concern. Whether she was worried for me or worried for Ed, I didn't quite know, but I felt a little better knowing that she cared.

"Yeah. It'd be pretty dangerous, and I don't want people to get hurt for no reason." I said.

"Ok then. You and that kid should come back sometime. I'm pretty sure people will eventually stop hating you." She said with a soft smile. Before I knew it, I found myself smiling back at her.

"I hope so too." I said. And then I left.

I walked until I came found another cab driver, and told him to take me to the nearest train station. Thankfully he did without so much as a question of where I was headed. He seemed to sense that I could really do without much conversation right now. I was way too deeply immersed in my own thoughts. I didn't care how long it took, even if I had to visit every warehouse in West City, I _would_ find him. There was no way that I'd go back home without him. It wasn't for _my_ sake. I mean, think about Alphonse, and Winry and his grandmother… I wasn't just jumping into action for myself. All these people mattered too, right?

But if that was the case then why did I want to hold him in my arms so much? Not in the way that a parent or a friend would, but in a completely different way. I wanted to feel those golden eyes looking into my soul, and even if just once more, I wanted to hear his voice, so happy and full of life when he joked. This wasn't _normal_, what I felt towards him. What was it? Somewhere far in the back of my mind said 'love' but I pushed that idea out. It was ridiculous. Just stupid, right?

"We're here." The driver said abruptly. I threw him the fare and a tip and headed into the station.

Later, I was sitting on a train bound for West City. It was a long journey, and I hated sitting in that compartment alone. IT was too big. I know that people usually complain that their compartments are usually so tiny and cramped, but the one that I was in was empty apart from me and an old man who had fallen asleep on his seat. Journeys are long, and it helps if you have someone to be there with you, to joke along as you travel. Even if it's about how 'useless' you are.

When the train finally stopped in West City, I ran out of the train and out of the station until I was on the street. It was then that I realised how big West City was. I couldn't just walk into any warehouse and that would be the one, it would take a lot of time. And time was something which I did not want to waste too much of. I thought for a second. The best thing to do would be to go to the industrial part of the city and take it from there. It was a long shot, but it was my best hope.

I was in the industrial part of the city. There were warehouses and factories as far as I could see. The air was thick with the smell of pollution as dark black clouds of smoke billowed from tall chimneys, darkening the sky. But this wasn't what I wanted. I wouldn't find Ed this busy place, full of workers and noise. No, I was looking for somewhere more deserted. It then dawned on me that I'd need to get someone's help with this. I definitely wouldn't be able to find that place on my own. I felt for the gun I always kept on me. Thankfully, it was fully loaded. I just needed to find the warehouse.

I wandered through the streets until I came into a more residential area. I don't really think there was a way to describe it politely, so I'll just say it was a ghetto. The air smelt of that slightly sickening mix of cigarette smoke, pollution and an assortment of drugs. It was filthy, but I guess it would be a good place to start looking for information. I spotted a man standing secretively in an alleyway, covering his face with the high collar of his trench coat.

"Hey!" He hissed "You lookin' for a little fun?" He beckoned me into the dark alleyway. I stepped in a little wearily, my hand cautiously feeling for the gun I had.

"I'm looking for someone called 'Master'." I said, remembering the nickname that the barman had told me. I watched the reaction on the man's face as I mentioned his name. He looked a little surprised at first, and then he smiled a little. It was a cruel smile that sent a little chill down my spine

"Ah, " he said "I see where you're going. Come with me."

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**This chapter took me a while to write. SORRY! But anyways, I promise you all ACTION and THINGS ACTUALLY HAPPENING in the next chapter, so PLEASE read AND PLEASE COMMENT HOW I CAN IMPROVE! **


	8. Losing it

What happens when you 'lose it'? Do you yell, cry or go berserk and destroy everything in your path? Sometimes there comes a moment when you reach a breaking point. You're faced with something so powerful that you change completely for a moment in time. It can be for the better or for the worst, but in the end, we do things that we normally wouldn't do.

He led me quickly through a maze of grimy streets until we reached what seemed like a graveyard for businesses. Everywhere I looked, I saw old factories and warehouses, windows either broken or boarded up. Grass was yellow and untended weeds grew so high that in some places they would come up to my waist. WE kept on walking until we came to one that seemed to be a little better-kept than the others. It was a big grey warehouse; there were no windows and only one door. There was no sign to indicate which company it belonged to.

But that didn't matter now. I took in a deep breath and thought over my quickly-made plan in my head again. It _looked_ like it would work. I mean, how hard could it be?

"We're here." The man said abruptly. That was the first thing he had said since promising to show me this place. He hadn't asked me any questions, obviously he'd done this before.

"Thanks." I said, and then walked up to the door and knocked on it. It opened a little bit.

"What do you want?" A voice hissed. Taken by surprise, I couldn't respond at all. I just stood there, looking slightly awkward.

"Why do _I_ always get the newbies?" The voice muttered to itself, and the door opened more, letting me into a dark corridor. It was too dark to even see the face of the person who'd opened the door for me. Our footsteps echoed loudly as we walked.

"So," he asked, "Looking for anything specific?"

"Anything specific?" I asked curiously.

"You know, blonde, tanned… how do you like them?" He explained. I don't it was possible to phrase that sentence so that women were referred to _more_ objectively. Part of me was taken aback by what he said, but the rest of me was remembering. Remembering that fact that _I_ used to talk and think like that. That I used to refer to women in the same sense.

"Let me show you some." He said. And I realised that all along the corridor were doors. He opened one after the other, in each room was a woman. Their eyes were filled with fear, pain and desperation, and their faces were soaked with tears. It was slightly scarring. The man next to me seemed indifferent. As if the women weren't even there. But still, all I could think of was Ed.

"You know, we'd get through this a lot quicker if you _told_ me what you were looking for." He said when we had almost reached the end of the corridor.

"I'm looking for a boy." I said "Blond hair, gold eyes…"

"A little on the short side?" He asked

"Yeah, but should never mention it to him unless you want your ass kicked." I said without thinking. The man looked at me questioningly for a second because of that statement but then spoke again

"Oh, yeah. We just got a kid like that in. He'll go pretty quickly though, I'm pretty sure a lot of people will want to get their hands on him."

And then I lost it.

An image of someone else taking Ed away and doing things that I didn't even want to think about to him just make me snap, and I lost all control. I turned to face him head-on and punched him in the face. He fell to the ground. Quickly he got up and swung at me, hitting me on the jaw, I stumbled back for a second. Unwilling to screw around anymore, I snapped my fingers and immediately he burst into flames. I watched him burn, so overwhelmed by anger that I still felt boiling hot even as the last of the flames had died down.

**Hey! Finally chapter 8! So sorry for the long wait and also I'm so very sorry that this chapter is really short. But I had extreme writer's block and for a while I was too busy to even get a chance to get on my laptop. But never mind, I'm here and so is the new chapter. I hope you guys all enjoy it and I swear that next chapter will be a lot better, OK? PLEASE GIVE ME AS MUCH CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISISM AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN! This story can only get better if you help me. I love you all and thanks for readiing!**


	9. For the Person You Love

You can do anything for the person you love.

ANYTHING

* * *

I stood for a second over the burned body, starting to regret what I'd done. How was I supposed to find Ed now? But I didn't have time to think of that. I could hear two pairs of footsteps, and distant voices, muttering about something. There wouldn't be enough time to hide the body. I had to get out of the way. Frantically, I searched the corpse for the big set of keys. If I could just hide in one of the rooms, then I was safe. They couldn't be found, they must have been melted by the flames or something.

The footsteps were louder now, and they were coming closer. I looked around in a panic. There was nowhere to hide. As the footsteps drew nearer and nearer, I threw myself into a doorway in vain. The door was set in a little bit, so I could just about remain hidden, but only if they looked at the door from the end of the hall. If they came down the hall, they'd be able to see me and it would be game over. I could barely breathe as I listened to the steps.

They stopped as the two people stood and talked. I dared to peek out from my hiding spot. They were standing about as close to me as they could without being able to spot me. I pressed myself further against the door and hoped that they wouldn't come any closer.

They didn't. They turned around and started walking the away from me. Relived, I instinctively exhaled. The two men stopped abruptly.

"Who's there?" A voice called. I held my breath and did my best to stay hidden. In the dark lighting, they hadn't seen the body on the floor, but if they started to explore, then they'd find it. And me.

"Come out and show yourself!" The voice called again. The footsteps were growing louder. They were coming closer.

"Wait… What the fuck is that?" A second voice came. They'd seen the body. "It looks like… it looks like… a body." Shit. Staying hidden wasn't an option any more. I grabbed the gun that I'd kept on me and jumped out of my hiding place into full view of the two men. I started shooting. It was dark and hard to aim, and in a second, shots were being fired back at me. Far more accurate than mine. It was hard enough to dodge the bullets. There was no way I was going to get out of this by shooting blindly at these men. I needed a plan. I looked up to the ceiling for inspiration, scanning for maybe a loose pipe or something that I could shoot down. Instead I found a ceiling fan, placed just a little forward of where they were standing. I stepped backwards quickly, not sure that what I was doing would work. They remained stationary for a second, and then they finally stepped forwards. After several misses I finally hit just above the fan. The thick wire that connected it to the ceiling gave way and it fell down onto the two men, knocking them both to the floor.

As I approached, I noticed that they were still alive. Still alive but too weak to be able to move. I pointed my gun and killed them both. Point blank. I felt a little satisfied watching their blood and flesh explode out of the wounds. I then walked past them. There was no point trying to conceal my presence any more. No doubt people had heard the gunshots.

As I walked further I could hear more voices. Panicked this time. People were coming to see what had happened. I sighed and ran at them full force, snapping my fingers and sending balls of flames at them. The flames illuminated the hall and it glowed with orange light. I heard screams but I carried on firing, not willing to cease until all were dead. I stopped when I realised that nobody was shooting anymore.

My hands dropped to my sides and I saw that there was still one man left standing. He was unarmed and looked frightened. He stared at me for a second before turning to run away. "_Not on my watch"._ I thought to myself. I chased after him. It wasn't that long before I was close enough to jump behind him and tackle him to the floor.

"Please… Spare me… My wife is gonna have a kid soon and I-" The rest of the man's sentence was lost in tears.

"I'm looking for a boy. Short, blond, with gold eyes. Tell me where he's being kept and I promise I won't kill you." I said gravely.

"I-I- don't know." He stuttered, tears were streaming down his face.

"You have to have some idea." I responded, restraining him with one hand, and snapping my fingers to light a fire threateningly in my hand.

"I heard they were keeping him near Master's private quarters." The responded quickly, frightened. I did not loosen my grip on him.

" Where is that?" He gave directions. I could barely hear them through his fearful stuttering. I just about made out what he said. When he'd finished talking he looked at me, terrified. I held on for a second longer now, before remembering something. I'd seen that look on his face before. So many times I'd not listened to people pleading and begging for hope. There were more people coming, I could hear them.

I let go of the man and ran down the hall. More people were coming towards me, but I just ran, blindly throwing flames, turning corners, only one thing on my mind. Ed. And then water suddenly poured over me. I looked up. The flames must have set the sprinklers off. I stopped where I was. There was nobody immediately behind me, so I leaned against a door for a second to catch my breath. I estimated how many bullets I had left. Not many. I was going to need a plan.

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**Hey! Wow! Chapter 9! To be honest I can't believe that I haven't got bored of this yet! Anyways, I'm sorry to say that I'll be posting a little more infrequently now seeing as I have to go back to school on Tuesday. I'm planning on actually doing my work and TRYING in class this year!**

**But don't worry! I'll keep writing! PLEASE GIVE ME CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISIM! I'll only help the story get better and better!**


	10. Ed

There are no words for this.

They were coming closer. There were four of them. What was I to do? I was running out of time. I could hear louder footsteps, and I knew that I had to make a move now. I pulled out my gun and tried to do the impossible. They fired, I fired. One of the fell down with a cry of pain, but the other three of them remained standing, I carried on shooting until I ran out of bullets. I ran towards them, the only thing in my head was the constant chant of _Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed._

The next few minutes were a blur of swinging punches, kicks and yells. The next thing I knew, there were two of them, holding me back. Out of breath, I tried think up of a plan. The thought of Ed, helpless, came to me, and I couldn't take it. I had to do something.

They held my arms behind my back, but I could move my hands enough to transmute. I transmuted the floor under their feet so that it rose around me. It rose to the ceiling and crushed them. I'd just meant for them to fall off, but I had more important things to worry about. The third man who seemed to have been hiding before emerged from a doorway, holding a gun fearfully.

"Take me to the short blond kid and I won't kill you." I said coldly. The man gulped and nodded. He led the way, sneaking into empty corridors and constantly looking around for people. Maybe he was trying to prevent more casualties, or more the more likely reason was that he didn't want anyone to see that he had given in like a coward.

After a while, he led me to a door. I don't know why, but it shocked me to see that it was just like every other door.

"H-h-here you are…" The man said fearfully. I didn't say anything, but just nodded. The man backed away warily.

I tried the handle. It was locked. I should have guessed that at least. I threw myself at it, thinking that if it wouldn't open, I was going to have to knock it down. I tried again. And again. Ed was on the other side of that door. He was so close I could almost feel it. I hadn't come this far to be beaten by a door. I tried again, throwing myself at the door with all the force I could manage.

It gave way, and me and the door both fell to the floor. I got up. The room was cold and dark. The floor was hard cracked concrete covered in dark stains that I didn't even want to think about. I looked for Ed. At first I couldn't see him, but then, I saw something shaped like a body in a corner. _Oh god no!_ Was the only thing that went through my mind as I ran to it. I feel to my knees at I reached it.

It was Ed. He was unconscious. His face looked peaceful and gentle. It brought tears to my eyes. I stayed there for a few minutes, on my knees, with Ed on my lap, tears in my eyes.

"Well _this_ is an interesting scene." Came an unfamiliar voice from the doorway.

**HEY EVERYONE! I'm SO sorry for the short chapter and super long wait, but I just been too busy to even have time to write. I'll try to update more often. I PROMISE! But anyways, PLEASE GIVE ME CONSTUCTIVE CRITISIM! Doing so will make this story more awesome and perfect so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me what I'm doing wrong or what I can do better! LOVE YOU ALL!**


	11. Master

Sometimes the truth is right in front of you the entire time and you won't see it. It's not because it was hard to find, but it's more because you don't _want_ to see it. You avoid it because you know that the truth is going to make you feel something that you might not want to feel. Or maybe it'll change things too much. But the truth always comes out, you can't stop it, or stop the changes that happen. You just have to hold on and hope that somehow things will just be alright.

* * *

I looked up from Ed's face to see a man now standing in front of us. He was tall, thin and pale with carefully styled black hair. He was dressed in a business suit and looked merely amused at us.

"It's so beautiful to watch two lovers reunite." He commented. He talked smoothly and politely, like he was trying to sell something. "It's too bad that I can't let you two go free."

"What do you mean?" I said, still cradling Ed, but mentally preparing for a fight. To the death if possible.

"A young boy… A young _alchemist_ like this kid right here can sell for quite a bit. I'm sure that I'd make quite a profit from him." He said coolly. At that point, I felt more contempt for him than what I thought was possible. The way he talked about Ed, as if he was… just an object. It made me feel so enraged. Ed was so much more than that. He was intelligent, beautiful, kind, loving and everything that I needed to stay sane.

"I won't let you even touch him!" I yelled. Moving Ed aside, I got up and stepped towards Master, ready to attack. Master said nothing, but smiled. That pissed me off. I still couldn't use flame alchemy, but that wasn't going to stop me. Master did nothing. I transmuted the floor split at his feet. He quickly jumped aside. He still smiled calmly.

"So we're going to fight like that now, are we?" He said. To my utter shock, he quickly transmuted a long blade out of the floor (_A/N metal minerals like iron in the earth would have been used to transmute the blade. Just in case you were wondering)_.

_Shit._ I thought, if he could use alchemy then I had to step it up a level. I couldn't let anything happen to Ed. I transmuted a wall nearby me and then watched as the rough concrete expanded, attempting to crush him. He smoothly dodged the attack.

"Wow. It looks like you'd do anything to protect your sweetheart." He commented.

"He's not my sweetheart!" I yelled back.

"Oh really?" Was all he said in response. He ran towards me with his sword. I got ready for an attack, but he went straight past me, and he was holding his sword above the unconscious Ed.

"ED, NO!" I cried. Master said nothing, but looked as if his point was proven.

"Are you willing to play with this boy's life?" He asked. I froze. I knew I wasn't, I was just thinking about why. Why couldn't I stand it if Ed got hurt? Why did thinking of someone touching, and feeling Ed send me into frenzy? Was it because I wanted to protect him? That I thought of him paternally? Or was it something else? Maybe… just maybe the thought of other people touching and feeling Ed bothered me so much because _I_ wanted to be the one to touch and feel him. The one to protect him and… and to… to love him.

"I'll protect him at all costs." I said, and then I threw a punch at him. Too surprised to react, he was thrown onto the floor and the sword slipped from his hand. I picked it up and walked over to him. I stood over him holding the sword ready to strike.

"You must really love him." Master said. He seemed unfazed by the point of the sword at his throat. Just what was wrong with this guy?

"I do." I said. And it was true. I did. I do. It was then that I realized those feelings that I'd been pushing away because I didn't want to deal with them. But now I had no choice but to accept it. I loved Ed, strange, wrong and creepy as it was, I loved him. And there was nothing I could do about it.

And then I killed him. I drove the sword straight into his throat without giving it so much as another thought. He would have hurt Ed. There was no way I was going to let him live on.

So there I stood. In a room with a dead man who I hated and an unconscious boy who I loved. And then I heard a sound behind me.

"ED!" I cried, tears flowing down my face again. This time tears of joy. He was ok. I was fine. Somehow we'd both be alright after this. Somehow. He groaned and sat up slowly.

"Roy…" He said weakly, looking up at me. I bent down until I could look at him in the eyes.

"It's gonna be OK." I said. And then I couldn't control myself. He was just too beautiful.

I leaned closer and I kissed him.

* * *

**FINALLY! Enough with the backstories and onto the good stuff! Sorry this chapter took me so long to write but I had a huge History project due aswell as being ill. But anyways, this isn't about me. It's about ROY and ED and how they should really be together! PLEASE GIVE ME ****ANY**** CONSTRUCTIVE CRITITSIM YOU HAVE AT ALL. THE MORE THINGS THAT YOU GUYS TELL ME I CAN IMPROVE ON, THE BETTER THIS FANFICTION CAN BE!**


	12. Love

Love is nothing like the shit that you find in romance novels. Whether it's a classic like Romeo and Juliet or a piece of worthless crap like Twilight, they're all wrong in one sense. Love doesn't always feel right. Sometime love feels wrong, like you shouldn't be having those thoughts. Because _society_ tells us that we shouldn't. But you can't stop. Because that's what love does. It takes over your mind and leaves room for nothing else. Like OCD, or crack. Yeah. Think about that.

I kissed him, I couldn't help myself. I pressed my lips right against his and tasted a mixture of sweat and my own tears. But somehow, that didn't matter. I felt the warmth of Ed against me and suddenly I didn't care. I felt his lips on mine. Warm, soft, and… kissing me back. I raised one hand and ran it through his blonde hair, as I felt his hands slowly reach around me. And I felt a mixture of relief and joy. The way you feel when you eat something you've been craving for a while. I guess in a sense you could say that I'd been craving _Ed_ for a while.

I heard Ed softly moan and my other hand automatically went to his shirt. I was about to grab onto the bright red material, when I stopped. _Wait. _I thought _He's 14 years younger than me._ I'd done some really terrible things in my time, but if there was one thing that I wouldn't do, it would definitely be something this… _wrong._

I pulled away, and Ed looked at me, a little confused.

"Not here…" I breathed. I helped him to stand up, checking once again that he hadn't broken or sprained anything.

"I think I can stand" He said. Unwillingly, I let go of him. We headed outwards; neither of us was saying a word. The silence continued until we were both safely in a compartment, on the train, heading back to Ishbal.

"Are sure you're okay?" I asked, concerned.

"I could ask you the same question." Ed said back, smiling a little. How was he smiling? He could have- no I wasn't going to think about it.

"Well, I didn't just get kidnapped so I think you should answer first." I responded

"I think so. I guess right now all I want is to take a hot shower, go to bed and put it out of mind." He said, looking out of the window, avoiding my gaze.

"You need to be more careful. If I hadn't come and saved your ass, some pretty terrible stuff could have happened to you. You can never tell what someone can do to a kid like you." I told him, the worry showing in my voice.

"Who're you calling a kid you fuckass?!" Ed yelled back. Now I was smiling weakly, I forgot he hated being called a kid. "Now it's your turn."

"What?" I feigned ignorance. Now I was the one looking out the window, trying to avoid his eyes.

"Are you okay?" Ed persevered; I could feel his anxious gold eyes staring into me. This was so like Ed, to always think of everyone else before thinking about himself.

"Yes." I still looked away.

"I don't believe you. Look at me in the eyes and say it." He demanded. I turned to face him and was hit by those golden eyes. Why did he have to be so… beautiful? I could barely look at him without my heart giving out.

"I'm fi-"I tried, but I couldn't do it. I sighed. How long was I supposed to keep this hidden for? I'd _kissed_ him. No matter what I did, things weren't going to be the same.

"Roy?" Ed asked, his eyebrows arching, as he looked at me, still expecting an answer. I got up and went over to the compartment door, closing it quickly.

"Roy?" Ed said, more sharply and more anxious.

"I'm not fine" I said, still standing by the door.

"I figured that much. Care to tell me what's wrong?" I bit my lip. Here came the hard part. _Why can't I do this?_ I thought. It was just three words. Why was it so hard to say them?

"_I'm_ wrong." I replied, realising how little sense that made only after I said it.

"Why?" He asked. For a moment I said nothing, and all that could be heard was the sound of the train travelling.

"Because… "I started, trying to predict his reaction "Because I think I love you." I watched Ed's face for any sign of a reaction, good or bad.

"You think you WHAT?" He asked, shocked.

" I love you." I went to go sit down again. "I can transfer you to work under someone else when we get back."

"Why?"

"How are you going to want to work with me after knowing that-"

"I love you" Ed cut me off.

"Yeah, that." I responded, looking down at my lap.

"No, I _love_ you." He said. I looked up at him and saw his face. His expression was enough to make my heart race. I smiled again, weakly, before shaking my head.

"We can't."

"Can't what?" Ed asked.

"Be together. I love you. So much. But Ed, I'm 14 years older than you. I'm nearly twice your age. And then there's the thing of both being guys. This is Amestris. Over here they aren't too accepting of this kind of love. We're goddam lucky they don't consider execute homosexuals anymore."

"I don't care. I love you, you love me. That's all that we need to care about. Why do other people get in on this? It can be our little secret" He smiled.

_Our little secret_. I smiled. This kid was amazing.

***Exhaustedly flops onto the trackpad, clicking the upload button***

**This chapter nearly killed me! But it's done and it's out there. I was facing ultra writers block! But then I found the most magnificent cure. Can anyone guess what it was? It was…**

**QUEEN! I wrote this chapter listening to Queen and the words just came pouring out. *Thanks Freddie for everything***

**PLEASE GIVE ME CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISIM ON HOW I IMPROVE! (Or I'll make Freddie's ghost haunt you!)**


	13. Shower

I could write some more metaphorical shit here but that would nullify the point of why this story is out here. The only thing that matters right now is that I love Ed, and Ed loves me. That's the end of it.

* * *

Our little secret. I liked that idea. Just us two and nobody else. Nobody else had to know, nobody else had to care. Just two people in love. It sounded like a simple enough plan, didn't it? If it could work. I got up again and went over to the door. I closed the blinds and walked over to him, putting my arms around him.

"Our little secret." I grinned. And for once, I felt content. With where I was, and who I was there with.

Pretty soon, we were back in Ishbal. Back in the little inn where this all started. But there was something different in the air. If I wanted to sound like a romance-obsessed teenage girl, I could say it was love. But I think that it was more like relief. Even though I knew that this probably wasn't going to work out, I could enjoy one last golden moment of it.

I sighed and my bed creaked loudly as I lay further back, sounding as if it would come crashing down on me any second. Through the small, dirty window, I could see a clear night's sky. Away from all the busy lights of the city, you could see more stars than I even knew existed. They were beautiful. Everything seemed beautiful today, in the rose-tinted light of love.

A sharp knock on my door awoke me from my pensive daze. I got up, hearing the bed protest with a loud creak and opened the door. Ed stood in front of me, holding a towel and spare pyjamas.

"My shower is spewing strange-smelling brown liquid that doesn't resemble water in the slightest. Can I use yours?" He asked.

"Go ahead." I responded, and directed him to the shower. A few seconds after the door closed behind him, I realised that it would be a good idea to get changed too. I removed my shirt and then heard something. A faint voice. Was Ed singing? In the shower?

My first thoughts of how cute that was were immediately replaced by something else. _Edward Elric is in my shower. In my shower… completely naked_. Dear god. I stood still for a minute to let my brain process that thought. I needed to get out of here. Any longer and I wouldn't be able to help myself. A walk. That's what I needed. Some fresh air would really help at this point.

I put my shirt back on and headed for the door, about to leave. I had my hand on the doorknob before I realised that I didn't have my pocket watch. In case something happened, I could need it to show who I was. I looked around the room for it, and I couldn't seem to find it. I searched through every drawer, nook, cranny and possible place that it could be, and I still couldn't find it. I was about to give up when I remembered something.

_It was in the bathroom._ Dammit. I told myself not to panic. I could easily go in there, get the watch and be out without Ed even noticing. No problem, right?

I tried the bathroom door. The lock gave in without even an attempt to stop me. I spotted the watch lying on the countertop and grabbed it. I turned to leave and then stopped in my tracks.

I saw him. Well, his silhouette to be more exact, but that didn't matter. It was like seeing him face to face. I stood still, unable to move. What was I supposed to do? To say? _Does he know that I'm here?_ The question came into my mind. He'd say something if he knew, wouldn't he? So I could just leave like this didn't even happen. I told myself to get out of there, but my feet refused to move.

I couldn't help it. I just had to say something. Somehow it felt so wrong to just stand there and stare. But then again, but now, I was starting to get a little used to feeling wrong.

"Ed? Is… Is the water okay?" My voice sounded weak and feeble as it came out. _What the fuck, Roy?_ I said to myself "_How's the water?" Of all the things you can say you choose pretty much the most pathetic one possible._

"Roy!?" Came the surprised voice of Ed, "It's fine, I guess, better than the unrecognisable ooze coming out of mine."

"That's good." Again failing to say anything that didn't sound extremely awkward. Why did Ed have to make me feel this way? I heard the water shut off.

"Can you pass me a towel? He said as he stepped out of the shower. I couldn't help it. I looked up. There he was, standing in front of me, completely naked. He was…beautiful. His pale skin and the shining metal limbs were covered in glistening droplets of water. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks, turning them a bright red.

"Sure…" I said, my shaking hand reached for a towel. It was torture. To look at his beauty and know that even touching it wrong, sinful, some might even go as far as evil. I handed him the towel, but not without having to see his body first. I struggled to bring my eyes up to his. _What now? Should I say something?_ I thought.

"Roy? Are you feeling alright?" Ed asked, looking at me worriedly. I tried to look at my pocket watch, the empty shower, the cracked mirror hanging over the counter. Anything but his face. He moved closer and I felt my heart race.

"You look pretty pale." He continued, "Are you sure you don't have a fever or something?" He pressed the back of his hand against my forehead as his chest was pressed firmly against mine.

"Ed..?" I whispered

"Oh grow up. I'm just checking your temperature." His face was so close to mine that I could feel his breath on my skin. His lips were moving. I knew that he was talking to me but I couldn't hear a word. I just focused on those lips. Those perfect lips. Without a thought, I pressed my lips against his. Again. The sensation was so overwhelming. I felt him kiss me back and it was eutrophic. I pulled him closer towards me and our kisses became more aggressive. I forced his lips apart with mine and we explored each other's mouths and bodies as my hands wandered down his lean yet muscular chest.

"R-Roy…" I could feel his hands under my shirt stroking my back. My hands on their own accord found their way down further and further. I could hear Ed's desperate pants for more.

I couldn't stop myself. The passion was too much. I began to stroke, slowly at first, then faster. I could feel his legs begin to shake and his hands dug deeper into my skin.

"Please… more…" He moaned. I moved closer for a second, and then froze.

* * *

**HI! Sorry for not updating for ages, but I was so stuck on this chapter. Most of the action in here was written by ****For Your Entertainment2**** for me, so PLEASE check her out if you liked it because she's an awesome writer and her stuff is great! Anyways, PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISIM! **


	14. Rooftop

The word 'wrong' can be used loosely. It can mean something that is incorrect, like a question on a test. But then again, it can also mean that something isn't moral. wrong,sinful, bad. They all go together. And what does it mean to be the second kind of wrong? And not be able to control the reason why?To be told what you're going to burn in hell for something that you can't even control.

It would suck, wouldn't it?

* * *

"Roy..." Ed shivered again. I pulled my hands away from him and shook my head. He came closer, I felt his hands gripping tighter on me. I pushed him away. Looking up, I saw hurt in his eyes.

"Ed, I'm sorry, I can't." I sat down on the creaky bed, refusing to look up at him. He sat down beside me.

"But why? Don't you love me?" Ed pleaded. Those last four words cut into my heart. Turning around to face him, I took both of his hands in mine. I could feel the warmth of his skin contrast with the coolness of the metal of his automail.

"I do, Ed. I love you so much." Ed didn't look like he believed me.

"Then why don't you show it?" He said angrily, getting up and going into the bathroom to collect his clothes.

"Because if people knew-" I began, but Ed cut me off, his voice rising.

"Because you don't want people to know that you're gay!" He yelled. _Gay. _I felt like I'd been slapped in the face. I knew that it was true, but those three letters just sounded so harsh when they were put together like that. I'd been living in Amestris all my life, and I'd only ever heard that word used as an insult. Kids would yell it at each other from across the street as if it was just another word.

"That's not true!" My voice rising too now. Even as I said it, I knew it was a bunch of crap.

"It is! Because the almighty Colonel Asshole can't stand it if anyone thinks little of him!" He was almost yelling now. He stood in front of me, fully dressed and shaking a little with rage.

"Ed, that's bullshit and you know it! I love you, and I-"

"But that's the thing. You don't. Not _really._ If you really loved me, then why did you want neither of us to tell another soul about our relationship?" He asked, looking at me with nothing but disappointment in his eyes. I opened my mouth to respond, but no words would come out.

"Goodbye, Roy." Ed said, and walked towards the door.

"Ed, wait!" I called, but he'd already left.

I put my head in my hands. He was right. But what was I supposed to do? He didn't know. He was young. He hadn't seen what they'd done to homosexuals, or how people on the street would look at them. Like they were scum. I didn't even want to think how they would treat me, a gay man in love with a boy nearly half his age. Was I supposed to go prancing down the streets of Amestris waving a rainbow flag?

But how could I give Ed up?

I got up, and headed outside. I needed air. I left the inn and walked through the twisting streets and small alleys. I climbed up a fire escape and sat down on the roof of a building overlooking the streets below.

I looked over the edge and saw a man, who couldn't have been more than five years older than me. He was bent down, talking to a little girl. He held out his hand to her. It looked like he was giving her something, a piece of candy? She was just about to take it when a woman who was clearly her mother came rushing out of a nearby store to pull her away, sheltering the girl with her body as if the man would attack them both at that second. Even from six stories up, I could feel her sharp cold glare hit me. Was that how the world would see me? As... some kind of a monster that they had to protect their children from?

Walking down the street would be hard enough, let alone being führer. It was either that, or give up on Ed. I couldn't bring myself to do either.

_Hey, slow it down_  
_Whataya want from me_  
_Whataya want from me_  
_Yeah, I'm afraid_  
_Whataya want from me_  
_Whataya want from me_

Whether I gave up on Ed or not, I knew that either I'd hate myself. For not loving him enough, or for loving him too much. I sat down, letting my legs hang over the edge of the building. I heard footsteps and saw someone coming to sit down beside me out of the corer of my eye.

"Hey." It was Ed. I didn't look up. I din't want to see what he thought of me right now. If he hated me for what I couldn't do.

"Hey." I said back.

"Look, I said some things which went a bit too far and-" He began. I looked up at him. He looked sorry enough. But he still hated the fact that I blankly refused to come out of the closet

"Let's not pretend, Ed. I _know _that coming out of the closet means giving up my dream. As much as I love you, I don't think I can do that." He looked away, jumping to conclusions. "But that doesn't mean I'm giving up."

"What?" Was all Ed could say.

_There might have been a time_  
_When I would give myself away_  
_(Ooh) Once upon a time_  
_I didn't give a damn_  
_But now here we are_  
_So whataya want from me_  
_Whataya want from me_

"Ed, when I was in the academy, there was a guy in my dorm. He was great, so much fun to be around. Everyone liked him. And then they found out he was..." the next word caught painfully in my throat. "that he was gay. And they took him to the training ground and beat him. In front of everyone. He screamed and begged for mercy, but they didn't stop. And when the creaming finally did stop, they hung the body up where everyone could see it." My voice shook so badly it was barely audible. "I was _there_, Ed. I saw it."

"But it's not that extreme any more." Ed reasoned.

"Old habits die hard Ed. It's going to be pretty hard for us to change those opinions." I said.

"Since when was that a reason to give up?" Ed smiled. I couldn't help myself. I smiled back.

_Just don't give up_  
_I'm workin' it out_  
_Please don't give in_  
_I won't let you down_  
_It messed me up, need a second to breathe_  
_Just keep coming around_  
_Hey, whataya want from me_  
_Whataya want from me_  
_Whataya want from me_

"Ed?" I asked, looking over the edge of the building again

"Yeah?"

"Why do you love me"

_Yeah, it's plain to see_  
_That baby you're beautiful_  
_And there's nothing wrong with you_  
_It's me, I'm a freak_  
_But thanks for lovin' me_  
_Cause you're doing it perfectly_

"What?"

"Why do you love me? I'm almost twice your age, and I admit I can be a dick at times. So why are you wasting your time?" I asked.

"Roy, I love the side of you that nobody else can see. I love the fact that you're brave and smart and you never go back on your morals. I love everything about you, and I'm not ready to give that up."

"Me either. Ed, I promise that one day, we won't be hated. And then we'll take a walk in the park, hand in hand, without having to give a fuck who sees us."

_There might have been a time_  
_When I would let you slip away_  
_I wouldn't even try but I think_  
_You could save my life_

* * *

**I am SO very sorry for the long wait, but I had a ton of homework and mental issues to deal with this week. (My depression is starting to come back. Nothing says fun like suicide!*sarcastic cheer*) But it's finally here, so enjoy! The lyrics are from Whataya want from me by Adam Lambert. That guy is my second favourite gay musician ever. Anyways, I'm getting REALLY sidetracked.**

**Enjoy the story. I love you all. PLEASE REVIEW! CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM PLEASE!**


	15. Amestris

When I said that there were a lot of things I wanted to change about Amestris, I wasn't kidding. This place is a death trap with a national anthem.

* * *

I breathed in deeply as the train carried on. The rest of our time in Ishbal had been amazing, like the summers of your youth. But it was over, and now we were heading back to Amestris. Don't get me wrong, I love Amestris, its home. But… it isn't exactly the best place to live if you're homosexual. I mean, it wasn't that long ago that Bradley was Führer, and being gay was a reason to be killed. Ed noticed how worried I was.

"It'll be okay, you know." He said, holding my hand in his. Even through his gloves, I could still feel the comfortingly cool metal. "We'll make it work. I just know it." I smiled weakly, not fully believing him. Things weren't going to be the same when we were back home. And I just didn't know if I was ready to deal with that yet.

The train stopped with a lurch and my heart immediately beat quicker. Maybe it was nervousness, maybe it was the thrill of keeping out love a secret, or maybe it was just the excitement of being home again.

"From this moment on, we _have_ to keep this a secret at all costs." I said quickly.

"Of course I know that!" Ed responded. "I love you." He added.

"Me too, Ed. Me too…" I replied quietly, giving him a quick kiss before we joined the crowd of people leaving the train.

Before we'd even left the train, I spotted Alphonse in the distance, his metal armour sticking out like a sore thumb. After a lot of manoeuvring through the busy platform, constantly bumping into people and having to apologize, we finally reached where Al stood, next to his side was an expressionless Riza.

"BROTHER!" Yelled Al, pulling his elder brother into a tight hug. Ed smiled at his brother despite the fact that he was probably being slightly crushed.

"Al!" He cried once his brother had relinquished him, "You don't have to crush me!" I couldn't help but see that his face was full of delight. Those beautiful golden eyes glittering with laughter shone like torches. It was hard to force myself to stop looking.

"Colonel, welcome back." Riza said, professionally. Actually a little coldly if you ask me, but I was too busy trying not to stare at Ed to pay too much attention to her.

"It's good to be back, Lieutenant." I said casually.

"I trust your trip went well?"

"Very." And with that, Ed and Al headed off to the hotel they'd been staying at, and I got into Riza's car, as she dropped me off home.

I found myself looking out the window, thinking back to Ed, the way his entire face seemed different when he laughed. It was like all the years of pain and misery had been erased, and for just one moment he looked like a kid. Just an innocent kid who was enjoying himself. It really was beautiful.

"Colonel?" The sound of Riza's voice brought my mind back to the car.

"Yes?" I responded.

"I was thinking…"She began. Even though her eyes were on the road, I could tell that she was nervous. I'd known Riza for a long time, and I wasn't too sure that there was anything that could make her nervous. So what was she about to say? Was it important?

"Hmm?" I said, searching her eyes for clues.

"I know that you've been busy with paperwork lately and you probably haven't had time to cook so-"She rambled. This was getting really weird. Riza never rambled.

"Just come out with it, Lieutenant." I interrupted

"I'd like to invite you over for dinner on Friday night." She said quickly.

Fuck.

I wasn't expecting that. Riza… just asked me out on a date. How was I supposed to respond? No thanks, I'm gay? Somehow, I didn't think that was going to go down too well. I trusted Riza a lot but maybe not enough to tell her the real reason I couldn't go on this date with her. I'd just have to let her down gently.

"Sure." The word slipped out automatically. _'WHAT THE FUCK! Why the hell did I just say yes?!" _I panicked inside my head.

"That's great!" She seemed excited.

"BUT JUST AS FRIENDS!" I blurted out a little loudly, attempting to make up for my earlier mistake. As soon as she heard the word 'Friends', her face dropped a little.

"Of course sir, I wouldn't think of anything else." She said quietly, keeping her eyes firmly fixed on the road.

We then spent the rest of the journey in awkward silence until we reached my apartment, at which point I left the car without saying a word. So now, I had a secret romance to keep under wraps as well as a woman who loved me even though I couldn't return those feelings. I didn't think I could see this getting any worse

I was heading down the hallway to my apartment when I realised a small gang of teenagers outside my neighbour's door. They were all male, about the same age as Ed. They were laughing loudly and holding several cans of spray-paint.

"Hey!" I yelled. At the sound of my voice, they ran towards the other side of the hallway, where the staircase was, still laughing loudly. I decided to be a good neighbour and look at the damage. There was one word sprayed again and again in fluorescent pink paint.

_FAG_

* * *

**HEY! LLF here! Sorry I didn't post in so long, but, well, I had an overload of homework, a slight case of writer's block, a lot of research for my novel and a small mental breakdown in French class. But that doesn't matter because the next chapter is here! I'll try to update more, but in the meantime, please enjoy the following messages**

**1) Thanks for the some of the comments about my depression last chapter. I don't think it's getting that much better but I know that with all your support, I can beat it! (Also, if you were wondering, my #1 favourite gay musician is Elton John. That man is awesome."**

**2) Between 500,000 and 1.5 million homosexuals were killed in WW2. If you were homosexual and worked in the military, you'd be killed right away. Otherwise, you'd be put into a concentration camp where, well, you guys have all learned in History class what life was like in one of those. So yeah. Just putting that out there.**

**3) Can someone please remind me why I thought it was a good idea to take French all through high school?**

**4) CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISIM PLEASE!**

**5) REVIEW PLEASE!**

**6) 50+ people alerted this story. YAY!**


	16. Office

I don't really know what to say about this chapter, so I'm just going to sing a Beatles song.

"_All you need is love!_

_All you need is love!_

_All you need is love, love, love"_

* * *

"-Okay?" I caught the last word of Havoc's sentence. After my adventures in Ishbal, I was back in my office, and I had to admit that I would rather be anywhere else in the world right now. Outside it was bright and sunny, a startling contrast to the constant rain I'd dealt with in Ishbal. The rays of sun streaming through the windows warmed up the room to the perfect temperature for sleep. However, sleep was the last thing on my mind. The walls around me felt so tight, and I found it even harder than usual to pay attention on the mountainous stack of paperwork forming at my desk. I had no clue why it was. I just wanted to get out, and just be with Ed again.

"Are you okay, Chief?" He repeated, looking at me worriedly.

"I'm fine, Second Lieutenant, why do ask?" I said distractedly.

"No reason, you just seem… a little distracted." He said, still looking at me curiously, "I mean, that secretary came in and you didn't even look at her _once._ And she was pretty damn hot!" How typical of Havoc to notice my newfound disinterest in women so quickly. Maybe now he'd finally be able to get a girlfriend now...

"Just tired, I guess. I came back from Ishbal yesterday and I'm still pretty drained." I responded, smoothly lying. This seemed to make Havoc leave me alone, or the more likely reason was that he was planning to get to that secretary before he got beat out again. Watching him hopelessly search for love was kind of off-putting, now that I was all smitten in love.

Oh, Ed. How I wished I could be with him now. I hadn't seen him since we'd arrived back in Central yesterday and I was already missing him. I just wanted to hold him tight, to run my hands through that soft blond hair and down that pale skin…

"COLONEL!" The loud voice awoke me abruptly from my daydreams. I looked up to see Riza standing angrily over my desk.

"You'll never get that paperwork done by staring off into the distance! If you want to finish on time, I suggest that you get to it!" Mumbling a response, I began to get to work signing my name again and again. It was boring work, and I begged silently for some sign of a distraction.

It came in the form of loud yelling erupting down the hall.

"That's Ed." Said Fuery casually. By now Ed's angry outbursts were part of our daily routine, and acted more as a notice of his arrival. And sure enough, five seconds later an angry Ed entered the room followed by his brother. He was dressed in his usual black and leather, making it exceedingly difficult for me to look away.

"Hello Colonel."

"Fullmetal. You're late." I tried to sound as professional as possible, attempting to push aside the thousands of thoughts in my head involving me, Ed and the storage closet down the hall.

"Sorry." He simply replied and dropped a pile of papers on my desk. I looked up at him. Unable to help myself, I smiled for a second. And then he smiled back, the light from the window dancing in his eyes. "Some reports that were overdue." He said, breaking his gaze. I blinked a couple times as I tried to pay attention to the situation again.

"Thank you, Fullmetal." I said coolly. From that moment on, I found it even harder to concentrate. Every time I looked up, I'd see him, and I couldn't help but think of that teary, sweat-soaked kiss, and then that night in the shower. It was impossible to look away.

"So, I think we need to throw the Colonel a victory party." Breda commented.

"A victory party?" Riza questioned.

"For the success of his mission in Ishbal."

"And what exactly would this 'victory party' involve?" I asked, already expecting the answer.

"Just some drinks, a couple chicks and well… you know… guy fun!" Breda elaborated. Oh great. What I really needed now was to be surrounded by drunken men who couldn't get a real girlfriend even if they tried. And then I'd have a bunch of high school dropouts who were just trying to get their fathers angry. Wow. I think I'm becoming an angry gay…

"Erm…I…" I began to think up of an excuse before a thought came to me. The old Mustang would never turn down a Scotch and a lap dance. If I said no, then they'd definitely know that something was up. But it seemed like my answer didn't matter anyways, as the plans quickly were being formed anyways.

"Wait, Ed? You're sixteen, right?" Havoc asked.

"Yeah…" Ed responded cautiously. The legal drinking age in Amestris was sixteen. They honestly couldn't be thinking…

"You're seriously considering taking a sixteen-year-old boy into a strip club?!" I asked incredulously.

"Well you pretty much grew up in one." Havoc countered. I looked at him, admitting that I couldn't really reason with that argument.

"So you're in, right?" Havoc turned to Ed again.

"Uh… sure." Ed answered uncertainly. I sighed. This wasn't going to turn out too well.

* * *

The day dragged on, and it felt like years before the end of the day. Everyone else was gone, and Ed was just about to leave.

"Ed," I said softly, going back to his first name now that we were alone.

"Yes, Roy?"

"Are you sure you want to go? I mean, you're just sixteen. You don't have to do things like this just so that people don't question your sexuality." I walked closer to him, until he was just an inch away from me.

"I'll go. It's fine. It can't be that bad if I'm going to be with you." He put his arms around my waist. I responded by holding him. Squeezing him into a tight hug.

"Roy…What if someone sees?" Ed asked.

"Everyone's left the office. There's no reason for anyone to come in here." I said, lifting up his head and kissing him. I felt his soft lips press against mine, making every nerve in my body tingle. It felt perfect, at least a hundred times better than any woman had made me feel.

The sound of footsteps outside made Ed quickly pull away from me. I dropped my arms as I saw a few officers pass us by.

"So I'll see you tonight?" Ed asked.

"Yeah." I smiled.

* * *

**LLF HERE! Sorry for not updating this story for so long. Also, I wrote this sitting a hallway at school, so I apologize for the badness, I just had to make sure that only people who were meant to see it actually did. But that's not the point**

**READ**

**AND**

**REVIEW.**

**PLEASE.**

**If I get more than 100 reviews, Ed'll get drunk and shit will go down...**


	17. AN

**A/N. Okay, So I just re-booted chapter 1, and I need you guys to answer this question for me. Should I update chapter 17 first, or should I re-boot chapter 2?**

**PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW WITH YOUR ANSWER! I NEED TO KNOW!**


	18. Drunk

Some people are fun when they're drunk.

I wonder what it must be like to party with those people.

I closed the door behind me and leaned against it. How did it lead to this? How did I get such a reputation that the first thing that came to someone's mind when they thought of a good time with me was a strip club? I mean, I was much more to that, right? Right? Or was I just forever the womanizer of central? A man who refused to see past a girl's breasts and never stayed for more than one night? To me it seemed a little more like the last one.

The weather in Central had cooled down dramatically as winter drew nearer. I shivered as my breath formed a foggy cloud in front of me. The brightly lit night lights guided me to the club where Havoc had proposed that we met. I could hear music playing before I even opened the door.

When I did, it was nothing surprising. Women dancing on stage, men sitting down, gawking at them, the typical atmosphere you could expect. I scanned the dark room, looking for my friends, before spotting them eventually.

"Chief!" I heard Havoc cry out as I made my way over to the booth they were sitting in. Already sitting at the table with Havoc were Breda and Falman. There were already a few empty bottles of beer lying on the table and I could be pretty sure that there was going to be more to come. Falman shuffled over to make room for me as I sat down. I held my hand up for a waitress to come and immediately ordered a Scotch.

"Where's Ed? And Fuery?" I asked.

"They're coming soon, Fuery said he'd drop Ed off. He lives pretty near to Ed's hotel." Breda said, already sounding a little bit drunk. Despite his size, Breda really was a lightweight drunk. It was all too easy to make him pass out and not remember the next morning.

So we sat and waited for the first few minutes, not wanting to get the party started until everyone had arrived. It took a while and a few more drinks, but finally, Fuery and Ed appeared.

"What took you so long?" Complained Havoc childishly.

"Nothing…" Fuery blushed. I really didn't want to get into it, and I was pretty sure that nobody else did either, so we just shuffled over further until there was room for all of us to sit in the booth.

"Okay!" Began Havoc, who had somehow become in charge of the party "Let's get started! How about some shots?" I smiled. I'd had a lot of bad experiences with shots and the academy, but then again, who didn't? Getting wasted for one night couldn't be that bad could it?

And we downed the first round all in one. I watched Ed's reaction as he tasted the extremely strong stuff. He grimaced at the moment it touched his lips, but swallowed it anyways. His cheeks already started to turn a faint red as the blood flushed to his face. I tugged at the collar of my jacket. Was it just the drink or was it getting a little hot in here?

"So who's getting a lapdance?" I heard someone say. A few nodded and then I felt their gaze turn to me.

"How about you?" Falman asked.

"What about me?" I questioned back

"Don't you think that the man of the hour deserves a lapdance?"

"Since when was I the man of the hour?" I asked.

"Come on! Since when does the infamous Colonel Mustang_ not_ want a woman on his lap?" He asked, already a little tipsy.

"I don't know. I'm just not feeling it today." I said, wondering how they would respond to my real answer. _Because I'm gay. Because I'd rather it was a man. Because I'd rather…it was Ed._ Something told me that saying that wasn't going to go down particularly well.

As the night went on, more and more alcohol was consumed. As a young adult, I'd formed a theory. The more alcohol you drank in one night, the more likely you were to do something extremely stupid and wake up the next morning on the floor with a splitting headache and no clue of what happened the night before. For that reason, I kept my drinking to a minimum, watching everyone else get senselessly drunk instead.

And I mean _really _ senselessly drunk. By the end the night, almost every member of our party was going to wake up the next morning wishing that they had never touched alcohol in the first place.

It all started at around 2am. Everyone apart from me was pretty damned drunk.

"Why can I never get a girl?" Complained Havoc, "I feel like… you know. I'm not _good_ enough for anyone. It's like, there's nobody in the world to love me. I'm probably going to die alone… And then… at my funeral, everyone else is going to be all content with their lives and I'll have died accomplishing nothing at all!" And then he rested his head on his desk, beginning to silently weep. Havoc always got really depressed when he drank. And you had to admit, it was funny to watch, even though it was awful when you thought about everything he said and how true it was for him. But I'm getting off topic there. Breda decided to be bromantic and find a way to make his best friend feel better.

"Hey! Jean! Come on! You know you'll find the perfect girl someday!" He said, or at least that's what I think he said. His words were slurred so badly I found it hard to make sense of what he was saying. And then he climbed up onto the table.

And he danced.

I'm not kidding, he danced.

I put my face in my hands and wondered if I could pretend not to know him for the rest of the night. And then he whipped off his shirt. At that point, I was pretty sure that it was possible to die of embarrassment. People were looking at him now, shocked, surprised and a little disgusted. A couple workers rushed up to the table to try and get him down, but then the table snapped in half, and Breda fell laughing to the ground.

I took that as my cue to leave.

"Falman! Grab Breda's legs and let's carry him out of here." I said, knowing that there was no way in hell he'd be able to walk. After not hearing a response, I looked up and saw Falman dancing terribly with a slightly scared-looking woman.

"Havoc, Fuery, Fullmetal! A hand please?" I asked. Havoc looked sleepily up at me, Fuery looked up, red in the face, and Ed lay on the cushioned seat, not responding.

"Fullmetal!" I said shaking him gently.

"Oh! Roy! It's you." He giggled. I'm not kidding. The Fullmetal alchemist _giggled._ But that wasn't what I cared about right now. I needed to get the drunk Breda out of here before he further embarrassed himself.

It took me and Havoc to lift Breda, and Fuery then supported Ed as we headed to the exit. Falman would be fine here, I guessed. It wasn't like he was going to do anything too bad. On the way to the exit, Fuery bumped into someone. A burly biker at least twice the size of him. The scary biker was then covered in beer, and now both scary and angry.

"Hey!" He yelled at Fuery "Watch where you're going!" We were so close to the exit now, just another ten feet, and we'd be out of here.

"Why don't you watch where _you're_ going? Can't you see I'm helping a friend get home over here?" Fuery snapped back. I'd never known what kind of drunk Fuery was before. As it turns out he was an angry one. A very angry one.

"It's not my problem if your idiot friends don't know how to control themselves." He said. That did it. Fuery slid Ed into a spare seat nearby and threw a punch at him.

"Never insult my friends!" He yelled. The scary biker didn't like being hit. And then he punched back. I watched in shock and amazement as he and Fuery fought, punching and kicking. (Ed at this time had his head on the table mumbling to himself.) _Five feet from the exit._ I told myself. _Almost there._ And then I saw Fuery lift up a chair, aiming for the scary biker's head.

_So close._ I left Breda with Havoc and ran to Fuery restraining him.

"Let me go! I need to kill him!" He yelled.

"No you don't." I sighed. And with a lot of struggling, we managed to get both Fuery and Breda outside. I left Havoc to hail a taxi and headed back inside to grab Ed. On my way, a waitress stopped me.

"Are you guys okay?" She asked, politely.

"Psychologically, probably not. But other than that, we're alright." I said. She smiled and laughed. I reached into my wallet and grabbed a handful of bills. "For the table." I handed it to her and left, finding Ed on the table, muttering to himself.

"Come on, Ed. We're leaving" I said, helping him stand up.

"Already?" He said, putting his arms around me, hugging me. I froze for a minute before pushing him off gently. He looked a little hurt, but right now I needed to get him somewhere safe before he did something that he'd regret.

When we got outside, the three others were still there.

"The cab's on its way" Havoc said briefly. Ed then proceeded to attempt to wrap himself further around me, while I gently tried to push him off, looking over at Havoc, who'd realised what Ed was doing and was watching us confusedly.

"Aww… Roy. Don't be like that, remember in Ishbal when you-" I slapped my hand over Ed's mouth quickly before Ed could finish his sentence. A sharp pain flooded through my hand.

"Argh! Did you just bite me?" I asked, drawing my hand away sharply. Ed said nothing, but smiled. Dear God. I made a mental note to never let Ed get drunk again.

"What did you do in Ishbal?" Asked Havoc.

"Err… I don't know. It's probably just the alcohol." I said, panicking a little.

"NO! Remember Roy? My shower wasn't working, so I came to use yours and-" I covered his mouth again. Luckily, and that point, the cab arrived. Once Breda and Fuery were safely inside, I relaxed a little. That was one problem out of the way.

"I'd better go with them" Havoc said.

"And I'll stay with you Roy! And maybe we can-" I promptly picked Ed up and threw him over my shoulder, starting to walk down the street.

"You're drunk. I'm taking you home." I said coldly.

"Ooh! To your place!" He said. I shuddered as I carried on walking. Never again.

When we got back to my place, I deposited him neatly on the couch and went to go find him a blanket.

"Roy! I-I-wanna have sex!"

"No you don't Ed. You're just horny because you're drunk." I responded casually as I found a blanket and a pillow and then headed back to the sitting room, where Ed stood. He hugged me tightly the second I came within reach.

"But I do! I love you and I wanna-" I cut off the rest of his sentence with a kiss.

"Haven't you ever heard? Increased alcohol consumption reduces the quality of performance. When we have sex I want you to be able to enjoy it fully." I smiled as I indicated the to the couch. Ed then pouted at me. He looked so cute that I just had to give in a little.

"Come on." I said, and I carried him to the bedroom.

"Yay!" He squeaked.

The next morning, Ed woke up with a splitting headache.

**DONE! And this is my longest chapter yet! YAY! Anyways, I have a few random thoughts.**

**What do you think about everyone being a different kind of drunk? I thought it was a pretty good idea. Are there any other characters that you think would be funny drunk?**

**All these characters are REALLY OOC. I apologize *gloomy atmosphere***

**Am I the only one who thinks Roy would make a terrible cook?**

**A Christmas themed chapter next, maybe?**

**PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! Also, feel free to answer any of the questions asked above. It'd be nice to get other people's opinions on these.**

**CONSTRUCTIVE CRISISM PLEASE!**


	19. Merry Christmas, Ed

**THIS HAS NO EFFECT IN THE PLOT. I JUST REALLY WANTED TO WRITE A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!**

I'd always loved Christmas… It was the one time of the year where nobody cared if you were gay, straight or whatever. All that they cared about was that you knew how to have a good time and set cookies out for Santa. If you did that, then you were more or less set for the holidays.

When I looked out the window that morning, my heart nearly skipped a beat. On the floor was a fine layer of snow, just enough to dust the surfaces of the roads and pavements outside with a thin layer of white. I smiled over my coffee, feeling like a little kid all over again. It looked like the typical scene you'd see on a Christmas card. Trees were all covered with snow, and little kids roaming around in the fun. Winter break must have started. Not that it made a difference to me, I sighed as I got up, setting off for work.

I reached the office in extremely high spirits, donning a Santa hat and humming Christmas carols.

"Good Morning!" I said loudly for everyone to hear. They blinked their eyes blearily as they looked up at me.

"You're cheerful today." Havoc commented, settling down on his desk to go back to sleep. I smiled as I walked over and kicked his chair, forcing him to wake up.

"Of course I am! It's Christmastime!" I more-or-less sang as I went to sit down. Nothing was going to put me out of my good mood right now. Not even the giant pile of paperwork that sat on my desk. I was just looking forwards to being able to celebrate. Decorating the tree and wrapping presents and all that other holiday stuff.

"Hawkeye?" I asked,

"Yes?"

"Get the decorations." I ordered.

Half an hour later, the office was so covered in tinsel you couldn't move without rustling. It was like an explosion of Christmas overkill. Beautiful, right?

I was so absorbed by my decorating that I didn't even notice when Ed walked in, until he almost knocked over the ladder I was standing on.

"Fullmetal! You're late!"

"Yeah, yeah. Is there a particular reason the office looks like the inside of the North Pole?" He asked.

"The Colonel seems to have gotten into the festive mood." Hawkeye coldly commented.

"So what? Christmas is fun!" I exclaimed.

"Whatever…" Ed commented and sat down, he seemed a little different today. A little sadder. I wondered why for a second before I realised. Al was back in Resembool for Christmas this year, but Ed had gotten caught up in some work and had to stay in Central over Christmas. That made me think. Was he spending Christmas alone? No. That wouldn't do.

While the others left for lunch, I asked Ed to stay back for a minute.

"What now, Roy?" He asked, going back to using my first name once he was sure that we were alone. I smiled, looking down at the last decoration I had left to put up. A sprig of mistletoe.

"Do you know what this is?" I asked, holding it where Ed could see it.

"Uh…mistletoe?" He replied, looking slightly confused.

"Yes," I said, putting it up on the doorway, exactly above where he was standing. "And do you know what we do under the mistletoe?"

"We kiss…" He said, still looking confused. I swung dangerously off the ladder and landed right in front of him. Bending down, I kissed him. His lips were warm and soft, tasting of…well…Ed. I couldn't really describe the taste. It was sweet, but at the same time slightly salty. But a kiss with Ed was the best-tasting thing in the world.

"So did you just call me here to assault me?" He asked, turning to leave. I held his wrist, forcing him to turn back and face me.

"Why such a bad mood? It's Christmastime! You should be excited!" I said, looking into his gold eyes. He _was_ sad about something. But what? What could it be that would make him so miserable at the most wonderful time of the year?

"Why should I be excited?"

"You want to spend Christmas in Resembool with your family, don't you?" I asked, staring to understand.

"It's not just that…" He responded quietly.

"Then what is it?" I pulled him closer, holding him tightly. Ed sighed and tried to move away. I let him go, wondering what was up. He went to a nearby desk and sat on it.

"When Mum was alive, I loved Christmas. She made it so…fun. We never had a lot of money, but she always did her best. She'd make cookies and wrap gifts and everything. Sometimes, she had to make our presents herself, but she always tried so hard. She said that we deserved it, because we were such good boys." He reminisced. I couldn't help but feeling sad as he talked, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"I remember, every year, me and Al would fight over who got to put the star on top of the tree. It was the best part of decorating." He smiled mom, lost in a flood of good memories, "But then, when Mum died it just wasn't the same. Winry and Pinako tried hard every year to make it special, and I guess that was what was really important. That we were spending the holidays with people we really cared about. And this year, here I am. Stuck in Central with nobody to spend the holidays with." Ed stared down at the floor when he finished. Now this just wasn't right. Everyone deserved to spend Christmas with someone special. They just had to find that special someone to spend it with.

I ran a finger under his chin, tilting his head upwards to face me.

"What about me?"

"What about you?"

"How about you spend the holidays with me? I mean, that's what you want right? To spend it with someone special? Well, aren't I someone special?" I asked. Ed smiled sweetly.

"Why do I have the feeling I'm going to regret this?"

"I promise I won't set anything on fire."

"Yeah right…"

I'd spent the past half-hour dragging boxes and boxes of Christmas decorations up from the basement storage room in preparation for when Ed would be here. There was also a tree standing in the corner all ready to be decorated. And hiding in the back of my closet was the gift that would probably make Ed cry with delight. This was going to be the best Christmas ever.

DING DONG! I raced to the doorbell, jumping over the many boxes that littered the floor. Opening it, I saw Ed standing at the door, wearing a thick coat. Dammit! Why did he have to look so cute?

"Ed," I smiled, stepping aside to make room for him to enter, "Come on in." He entered, taking off his thick coat and tossing it casually over the expensive couch.

"So what do you want to do first?" He asked, playing with a piece of tinsel that hung over the edge a box.

"Whatever you want. Decorate the tree, watch a Christmas movie, bake cookies-"

"You? Bake? I thought you promised you wouldn't set anything on fire." Ed jibed.

"Hey! My cooking isn't _that_ bad!" I protested. Ed said nothing, but just looked at me, questioning what my idea of bad cooking was.

"Come on! Let's get started!" I said, pulling him into the kitchen where Ed decided to not let me get too involved in the process of baking, just for safety's sake. I watched him mix the dough, roll out and cut out perfect sugar cookies, laying them out in neat rows on a baking tray. Putting on arm around him, I kissed his forehead softly. They weren't in the oven yet and they already looked delicious.

"You're distracting me…" Ed complained, trying to continue cutting cookies.

"Am I?" I kissed him again. He responded by touching my nose with his flour-covered hands, powdering the end a dusty white. I smiled and did the same. Ed placed the last cookie neatly on the tray, put the tray in the oven and then turned to face me, throwing a handful of flour at my shirt. I laughed to myself. I wasn't going to let him get away that easily, and my hand reached for the flour.

It was an epic fight. Sadly, we had to stop when the air was too full of clouds of flour for either of us to see our targets. The kitchen looked awful, like it had snowed indoors. And we didn't look any better, both of us were covered from head to toe in white.

"Why don't you go take a shower? I'll start getting the decorations ready." I said, dusting some of the white powder out of his blond hair.

Fifteen minutes later, Ed was drying his hair with a towel, and walked into the living room to see me singing Christmas carols, holding a box of baubles and once again wearing the Santa hat.

"What's next on the itinerary?" He asked.

"I was thinking we'd decorate the tree, and then maybe watch 'A Christmas Story'."

So we decorated the tree, tinsel, ribbons, baubles, bows. Everything to make it look special. By the time we wrapped it with lights, it was almost perfect, just missing one last finishing touch-

BEEP!BEEP!BEEP!

"What the hell?" Ed said, looking towards the doorway that led to the kitchen, tendrils of smoke were floating down the hall.

"HOLY CRAP!" I ran towards the kitchen, and looked at the mess. There seemed to be a fire _inside_ the oven. Shit. I opened it, grabbing the fire extinguisher I was so glad to have installed (I'd like to say it was the first time there had been a fire in my apartment, but most of the fire-fighters in Central know my name now.)

Out of the oven, I pulled a tray of blackened chunks which did not resemble food in any way possible.

"Uh…Ed?" I said, walking into the living room holing the tray. Ed didn't look up. He was busy examining the most beautiful Christmas decoration I had. A crystal star, to top the ostentatious tree we'd decorated. I put down the tray of cookies, an idea coming to mind.

I snuck up behind him and grabbed him, lifting him up from the waist.

"Roy! What the-" He began struggling a little. When we reached the tree, I lifted him up higher, so that he was almost level with the top.

"Putting the star on top is the best part, right?" I said. Ed smiled, placing the star perfectly on top of the tree, completing it. I let him down gently.

"Merry Christmas, Ed."

"Merry Christmas, Roy"

And then we spent the rest of the evening snuggling with hot chocolate and watching Christmas movies. Ed was right. Christmas should be spent with the people you cared about, the ones who were important to you.

**LLF here! Several things to say to you all**

**Bad cook Roy? Like/don't like?**

**I would love anyone who drew me a picture of Roy lifting Ed up so that he could put the star on top of the tree**

**Guess what Ed's gift is! I think I'll reveal in the next chapter (I.e. I forgot to write what it was in this chapter and I'm too lazy to go back and change it**

**I can't believe I've only made 1 short joke in this entire story! I need more!**

**I want to wear my light-up Santa hat to school tomorrow.**

**I'd like to wish you all a happy holidays! Have fun with your friends, family and whatever. Enjoy the season and whatnot. **


	20. Aftermath

**Okay, so back to the plotline!**

Morals suck. They're little voices in your head that tell you what you can do and what you can't. Sometimes don't you just wish you could just shut up the voices in your head and do what you want?

As my alarm clock rang, I yawned and rolled over sleepily, reaching out blindly until I hit the snooze button. Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes and sighed, tired out by the slightly catastrophic events of last night. Speaking of catastrophic events of last night, I turned my head, as is somewhere in my mind there was the doubt that it had all just been a dream. It wasn't. Ed lay there fast asleep, looking perfect. I think I must have said this before, but when he was asleep, he looked so peaceful, too busy dreaming to worry about his brother, alchemy or the stone. I reached my hand out to stroke his soft blond hair, wrapping a lock around my finger. He stirred.

"Roy?" He mumbled softly, opening his eyes with substantial difficulty.

"Yeah?" He lifted himself up into a sitting position, before groaning again, more loudly this time, holding his head in pain.

"What…what happened last night?" He asked.

"You got quite drunk." I said plainly.

"Define quite." He responded, asking for more information of last night's events.

"You can't remember?" I asked, surprised. I think I'd have remembered something like what happened last night no matter how drunk I'd get.

"Should I?" He asked, "I'm a little scared now. What did I do?"

"Well, I don't think we'll be able to go back again, but that probably isn't your fault. For grown men, some of those guys really don't know how to handle a drink. But that's beside the point. You… well; you get kinda horny when you're drunk." I turned a faint shade of pink as I remembered the events. Ed on the other hand, turned bright red and immediately put his hands in his face.

"Oh shit. How bad was I?" He asked, fuming at himself.

"You may have tried to have sex with me a few times."

"May have?!"

"Okay, fine. You tried to have sex with me and almost told everyone about us." I said quickly. Ed grunted furiously, angry at himself. And then he turned to face me, looking a little calmer.

"So did we-?"

"No." I saw where this thought was going and shot it down quickly. "You were too drunk to know that was going on, and I didn't want to take advantage of you like that." I felt dishonest as I said it. Even if Ed came to my apartment in the middle of the night completely sober and asking for it, I still wasn't sure that I'd give it to him. To tell you the truth. I didn't think I _could_. Not in a physical sense. If the women I'd been with were any indication, there was nothing wrong with that area. It was more in a moral sense. He was so much younger than me. So innocent and pure. If we _did_ have sex, I'd be the one who took his innocence.

His superior officer who was almost twice his age and of the same gender.

That would sound _great _in court.

"Well, I'm not drunk now…" Ed smiled softly.

"No."

"But why?"

"Because I said no."

"That's not a legitimate reason."

"I said now, now you might want to get up, or we'll be late." I tried to end the conversation quickly, but my attempt to get out of bed was interrupted when Ed threw his arms around me.

"Ed…" I began, before he looked at me with his piercing golden eyes.

"Please, Roy. Tell me the truth. I deserve a reason at least, don't I? Give me a reason and I'll stop, I promise." He pleaded. I just couldn't say no to that face.

"What am I supposed to do? You're almost half my age. I don't want to ruin you." I sighed.

"Ruin me? Roy, in case you haven't realised, there isn't much more ruined I can get." He answered back, making me think for a second. Ed was only a kid, but he _had_ been through a lot. He wasn't a kid on the inside. He matured, and I knew, but why did I feel like I'd die painfully if I loved him the way he wanted.

"I know. Look, Ed. This is still all pretty new to me. Can you wait? Just until I get my head around all this."

"I'll wait for you as long as I'll live." He leaned closer, kissing my cheek softly. I turned around and kissed him full-on the lips. We probably spent a few minutes just kissing before my alarm clock went off again, making us both jump.

"We should hurry up, or we'll be late." I said, mashing to buttons to make to annoying mood-killing device shut up. Ed winced as the thought of work entered his hung-over mind.

"Take a shower and grab some coffee," I said, affectionately playing with his hair "I'd make something, but my cooking isn't exactly edible." Ed smiled as he headed to the washroom.

He emerged when I was almost fully dressed. His damp hair stuck to his face, looking longer than it actually was. We breakfasted together, on burnt toast and coffee, which was about the extent of my cooking abilities.

When we arrived at work, the office had a completely different atmosphere. Maybe it was because everyone apart from me and Riza were hung –over as fuck and seemed content with lying on their desks, grumbling about how they were getting too old and promising themselves that they'd never get that drunk again.

"It looks like you had fun last night, sir." Riza said, as I sat at my desk.

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, judging from how hung-over everyone is, and the insane stories Havoc claims are true, it must have been an interesting night."

"Interesting, yes. Fun? Not really. I think I've passed the age where people find it fun to destroy their livers and get in trouble with the law." Riza smiled softly. Her eyes looked nice when she smiled. Did they look browner? Or was that make-up?

Make-up? In all my years, I'd never known Riza to wear even a touch of make-up, so what was going on? Perhaps there was a new man in her life. I smiled at the thought. She deserved a little love.

"So, are we still on for Friday?" She asked, blushing a little. And then I realised. _I_ was the new man in her life.

Crap.

**Hey! Back again! Sorry for not updating in a while and for a pointlessly fluffy chapter, but I was super-busy all winter break with relatives and then the minute we got back to school, we were overloaded with work.**

**BLEH.**

**Anyways, I don't think I have anything else to say this time. **

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	21. Date

To some people, love can be a cruel, heartless bitch.

But we can't help ourselves from falling for it every time.

* * *

I paced back and forth across the floor of my living room as I got dressed, my brain in a full scale panic. The week had gone by a lot quicker than I had expected since the occurrences of the strip club, and it was Friday evening already. Sitting on the couch was Ed, not exactly doing his best to make me feel any better.

"What if she wants to kiss you?" He asked, relaxing on the couch as he watched me get even more nervous.

"I'll politely tell her that I'm not interested." I replied, trying not to picture her reaction. Riza had been there when I was learning alchemy, and she'd never left my side after that. She'd grown on me the way a little sister would. I loved her, but like a sibling, not a lover.

"And if she gets offended?" Ed questioned, still casually.

"Not my problem. Colonel Mustang has a certain reputation for breaking hearts. She knows what she's dealing with." I tried not to picture a broken-hearted Riza as I pulled on a fresh shirt.

"What if she tries to seduce you? For all you know she could come out in a miniskirt and-" Ed asked. _Now_ I knew where all these questions were going. I walked over to the couch in my open shirt and bent down so that my lips were inches away from his.

"Is someone a little jealous?" I teased playfully.

"What?"

"Oh come on! I'm going to dinner with a beautiful woman who's very much into me. You're just worried that she'll steal me away." I carried on teasing, smiling as I watched Ed blush and attempt to retort.

"No! I can trust my boyfriend with one dinner can't I?" _Boyfriend._ That was the first time I'd heard that word applied to me in a while, but it sounded better coming from Ed lips. I was _his boyfriend._ I was _his,_ and I always would be.

"Maybe… She _is_ pretty." I said, sending Ed into a small fit.

"Roy!"

"I'm kidding," I said, leaning in closer, "Really Ed, Riza might be pretty, but she's not my type at all."

"Really?" Ed's eyes widened. Right now there were probably a dozen rumours flying around the office about how Riza and I would apparently make a perfect couple. There was even a fan club.

"Yup."

"Then… What _is_ your type?" He said. I smiled even more. He was just asking for it now.

"Blonde, gold eyes, sweet but at the same time you don't want to piss them off, short…" I listed, putting my arms on either side of him.

"Don't call me short!" Ed yelled immediately. I laughed before kissing him. I don't know how long we spent kissing, but I enjoyed every second. After a while Ed pulled himself away.

"Had enough already?" I smiled.

"Save some for you date." Ed teased back.

"Oh shit!" I exclaimed, looking at my watch "I'm going to be late!" Hurriedly buttoned up my shirt and threw on my jacket before having a quick look at my hair in a mirror which hung in the hallway. In the reflection, I saw Ed trying to contain his laughter.

"Hey! If you're just going to laugh then you might as well leave!" Ed got up and wiped tears of mirth from his eyes. I opened the front door and indicated for him to leave, before exiting as well. After locking the door to my apartment, I turned to face Ed.

"Wanna wish me luck?" I asked. Ed smiled, quickly looking left and right to make sure that we were alone in the hallway. Once he was positive that there was nobody to see us, he stood on tiptoe and kissed me quickly on the cheek.

"I love you." He whispered.

"Me too." I said back, as we both left.

Once I made it to Riza's apartment, I suddenly felt terrible about what I was doing. Riza was one of my closest friends. If I broke her heart into a million little pieces, I highly doubted that she would ever forgive me, and I'd been at the wrong end of her gun a few too many times to make the mistake of pissing her off again. Taking a deep breath, I knocked on the door.

"Oh! Colonel! Welcome!" Riza said as she opened the door. At first, I was speechless. She was wearing a dress. Yes, I'm serious. A dress. I didn't think that I'd seen her in a dress since…well…ever. It was red and it clung to her body. She'd paired it with red high heels and quite a bit of makeup. It made her look so… different. I was so used to seeing her dressed in her unflattering blue military uniform and threatening to shoot me if I didn't do my paperwork that I had forgotten how pretty she really was. Seeing all the effort she's put into this, I felt even worse about having to break her heart.

"Call me Roy," I replied, before adding "You look great."

"Thank you." She blushed as she stepped inside and gestured for me to enter. Her apartment looked the way it always did. It was immaculately clean, not a single thing out of place, with very minimalistic design. I took a seat on the couch.

"So, how was it in Ishbal?" She asked, placing a bottle of wine and two empty glasses on the coffee table. She poured a generous amount in both glasses and handed one to me. I took it thankfully and sipped.

"It was…" I thought for a moment for the words that described it best, "An _experience_."

"I thought so. It's like you've come back a new person." She smiled as she took a sip of wine. I had to admit that she did look pretty damn adorable. If I was straight, I would have been all over her.

"Yeah. It… it definitely changed me. I mean, I don't think that I can ever make up for what I did, but just going there and helping people, knowing that I made a positive change in their lives, helped me save _myself_ in a way. You don't know how good it feels to be able to look at yourself in the mirror in the morning and not see a murderer anymore." It was true, when I looked in the mirror. I didn't see the 'Hero of Ishbal' now, but instead I saw a man who loved a boy half his age. According to some religions, I should burn in hell. So not exactly an improvement, then.

"That's great. It's nice to know that you've finally got that off your chest now." She smiled and moved slightly closer, sending my brain once again into panic mode. This was going to be a lot harder than I thought, especially considering the bottle of wine which probably wasn't the last Riza was planning on opening.

I moved away slightly and quickly changed the topic, focusing on small talk. After about ten minutes of discussing the weather, Riza excused herself to check on the dinner. Watching her leave, I quickly downed the rest of my second glass of wine in one gulp. I needed to stop leading her on and do this quickly.

When dinner was ready, I'd firmly decided that I would tell her politely and quickly that I wasn't interested in her, and leave once we'd finished eating. The smell coming from the kitchen was amazing. I looked at the dining table. There was a tall candle lit in the middle of it, making it very clear that despite what I had told her, this wasn't a dinner between friends.

She'd cooked spinach quiche. My favourite. She sat down opposite me and smiled.

"Okay, I can't do this anymore." I admitted.

"What?" She looked up at me anxiously. Damn. Those brown eyes were huge.

"Riza, I'm sorry. I… I just can't return those feelings that you have for me." And then she cried. At first, I didn't know what to do. I hadn't seen her cry since the death of her father.

"I…I understand, it's just…" She sobbed as I reached over and put a consoling hand on her shoulder.

"Just what?" I asked. She turned to face me, with such a combination of sadness and stress on her face that I could tell this date was just the tip of the iceberg.

"I'm not attractive, am I?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Every male I talk to just sees me as a soldier who might shoot them if they slack. I'm not… womanly enough to get a man, am I Roy?"

"Riza, what the hell are you saying?"

"I bet that's why you don't want to date me. I'm not-" She wept.

"Riza, please!" I said loudly enough to make her stop crying and look at me. " The fact that I don't like you in a romantic sense has nothing to do with how…er…womanly you are. Don't worry about men so much, we're pretty stupid. It might take a while for the right one to appear."

"But how would they like me? I mean, nobody does."

"Look, any man that you need to change yourself for isn't worth it. And also, if you'd have heard the kind of things guys say in the locker rooms, I'm pretty sure you'd be convinced that they'd like you." And with that, I left her sitting alone at the dinner table, still looking slightly sad. But I wasn't so worried about her at that point. It would hit her eventually, and then she'd find the perfect man for her. At least, that's what I hoped.

* * *

**Hi! It's LLF here!**

**Yes, I am still alive. After summatives and exams, I'm very surprised that I am. But on the bright side, no more French. (At least until next year…)**

**I apologize for the suckiness/ lack of action in this chapter, but… yeah… the only excuse I have is that I'm a bad writer.**

**I'm currently betaing a story ****called 'The Sharpest Lives', by ****konfessor2u. Please read it. It's RoyEd and fucking awesome**

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	22. Stars

Sometimes if you take a break from the worls, sit back and watch it turn, then everything feels just alright

* * *

By the time the weekend came around, I was desperately in need of a break. I thought that this would have been easier, but I was wrong. Do you know how hard it to pretend to be a complete womanizer when you're actually gay?

Yeah. Not easy in the slightest. After a week of close scrapes and extremely awkward moments, I was looking forwards to spending an entire weekend with Ed. What we'd do exactly didn't bother me. I just wanted to be with him in a slightly sexual way. When Friday came around I felt like a school kid again, counting down the seconds until I was free.

I jumped out of my chair the moment the clock read 5 o'clock. Riza rolled her eyes as the rest of us rushed out of the door as quickly as possible. Seriously, it was Friday, couldn't she cut us _some_ slack at least? But anyways, let's not get me started on how much I hate work. I headed to my apartment, Ed was running around Central chasing after an art thief, so I'd be alone for at least a few hours, depending on how many times Ed got called short.

When I got home, I noticed that there was a message on the answering machine. I pressed play as I unbuttoned my jacket, wondering what it was.

It was the hospital. Ed had trashed his automail arm while fighting the art thief. At first, I was concerned as I called a cab and headed for the hospital. On the way, however, I started to feel a little more annoyed. This was meant to be _our_ weekend, our time to spend bonding. But now he'd have to go all the way to Resembool and spend days there until Winry made him a replacement one. Damn. There went my break with Ed. By the time I got to his hospital room, I was pretty damn ready to yell at him for not taking better care of himself. Didn't he think about how his behaviour affected others at all? What if next time it was more than just his arm? How did he think the people he cared about would deal with it?

"You came." Smiled Ed weakly as he looked at me from his hospital bed. Crap. I couldn't stay mad at him when he looked so cute and helpless. Especially with the golden sunlight from the window bathing him in a warm light. I just wanted to hug him tightly and maybe nuzzle him. Controlling _that_ urge was never much fun.

"Seriously," I walked up to him and ran a hand through his soft golden hair "You need to take better care of yourself. What would I do if you got really hurt?" I sat down at the edge of his bed.

"Sorry about your plans for the weekend." He apologized

"It's ok. What really matters is that you're alright." I replied.

"You know, you could always come with me." He thought out loud.

"What?" I tried to hide my excitement.

"I don't think it's wise for an alchemist to travel across the country alone when he can't use alchemy. I mean, if that thief had accomplices, then they'd probably be after me, right? Well how am I supposed to protect myself from them properly?" He explained

"That's a very well-thought-out excuse." I commented.

"I learned from the best." He responded, earning himself a gentle nudge. I know that it sounds cliché when I say that nobody's ever made me feel the way that Ed does, but that's the only way I can describe it. I've probably said this before, but with Ed, I never feel like I have to pretend about who I am. I can say and do what I want without being worried that he'd judge me, because I knew that he'd love me no matter what. It was one of the most comforting thoughts I'd ever had.

It wasn't long before everything was more or less sorted. I'd called in at work and explained why we might be absent for a few more days, and then we promptly got on the next train to Resembool.

"I still don't understand why Winry could have just come over to Central. I mean, she loves it here." I said as we boarded.

"I'll show you why when we get there." Ed said, attempting to sound mysterious. It didn't suit him at all. The journey was nothing like the trip to Ishbal that had started all this. It felt like so long ago already, like the silent awkward journey was already a part of our history. We were a happy, fun-loving couple now, and we spent the train ride laughing and just being _happy._

When the train finally stopped in the tiny Resembool station, I felt the calmness in the air. I was so used to the busy life in Central that I'd almost forgotten that there was any other way to live. It was obvious now why Ed wanted to bring me here. It was like another world here, an escape from our lives. We were picked up by the old woman Pinako, who I'm pretty sure only partially believed the lie that Ed told her about him needing protection.

"So you'll be gone in three days?" She asked casually with a hint of bitterness in her voice. Ed nodded and I began to think. What was so wrong with this place? I mean, it was so peaceful and relaxing. It'd be nice to live here and not have anyone breathing down your neck, telling you that you had to finish some gigantic stack of paperwork before the next equally as large stack would be dumped on your desk.

By the time we got to Pinako's home, it was evening. She made us some stew, which was actually pretty damn good and then we turned in early, Ed claiming that he was tired from the long journey. I was shown to the guest bedroom where I would sleep. After I'd got changed, I went out on to stand on the balcony. It was a warmish night, and pleasant cool breeze blew across my face. Perfect weather. I smiled as I leaned on the railing, looking at nothing in particular, just enjoying the quiet. That was, until it was disrupted by a small crash followed by a grunt. I looked to the source of the sound to see Ed on the floor. He's probably tried to climb to the balcony from his room.

"Ed?"

"Are you going to help me up or not?" He asked. I rushed forwards, helping him to stand up. Once he was up, I didn't let go of my grip on him. I tightened my arms around him and held him tightly. Pinako and Winry were sleeping, and the nearest neighbours were still pretty far from here. We were as alone as we could possibly be in this country.

"Is there a particular reason you had to crash the party?" I joked. At first Ed scowled. Now, I even found _that_ adorable. But still, I knew that even with only one arm, he could probably still give me a run for my money.

"Can't I spend time with my _boyfriend_?" He asked. There is was. That word again. _Boyfriend._ It was still weird to hear, but I liked the way it sounded when Ed said it. He said like it really meant something to him, like I was going to be his _partner, significant other,_ or whatever you were meant to call it. I laughed to myself and kissed him softly on the neck. He jumped a little, as apparently, that was a weak spot for him. I'd have to remember that for later.

"You know," I said as I looked up to the sky, "I never really noticed until now just how many stars there were." We both looked up into the clear night sky, and sure enough, it was filled with stars. Each one of them was glittering like a polished gem. It was beautiful, and to think, these stars had been there all this time. During the day, the light of the sun overpowers them all, and we can't see them, and if you live in a city, street lights do the same at night too. But in reality, they're always there, looking down on you, and even though you can't see them, you know in your heart that they'd always be looking down on you.

Wow. Love has really made me sappy. If I start writing deep poetry someone please slap me.

"Yeah. They're pretty aren't they?" Ed said dreamily.

"Their beauty dims in comparison to you." I joked, and was rewarded with an elbow to my ribs. Ed actually had to reach up to do that. Hilarious, no?

"I can see why you like Resembool." I said. "It's like there's just us here."

"Just you me and the world."

**Hey! LLF here.**

**Sorry for not updating in so long, I've been really busy this month. (No, I still don't have a life, I just had more homework.)**

**And sorry this chapter is so short. Writer's block is a bitch.**

**My English teacher is freaked out about me because I handed him in a soft yoai and now he won't make eye contact with me if he can avoid it :)**

**Hmm… I'd have probably finished this earlier if I hadn't spent so much time playing Pokémon or Zelda…**

**GODAMMIT! I STILL smell like cookies!**

**Anyways…**

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**I LOVE YOU**


	23. Resembool

Resembool was not Central City. Don't look at me like that, I'm not _that_ stupid. I didn't mean geographically, I meant… well, it's a little hard to say exactly what I meant. In Resembool, it was just so _different._ There were no suspicious eyes watching the streets for a new topic to gossip about, there were no giant piles of paperwork that needed to be completed. There was just me, Ed and a lot of fields.

We lay on the grass, staring up at the clouds that floated slowly through the bright blue sky. Nothing needed to be said, we just lay there and enjoyed each other's presence in the sun.

"It's so peaceful here. I don't see why you don't like it here." I broke the silence.

"It gets boring after a while." Ed replied.

"I guess, but still, it's nice to get away from the city sometimes." I ran a hand through his long golden hair. It soft and I never wanted to let go of it. But I did, pretty unwillingly.

"Yeah…" Ed said dreamily. "The sky is so blue."

"It is. It's my favourite colour, you know."

"No. I did _not_ know that." Ed turned to face me now. He sounded surprised, and then it was my turn to be surprised as I came to the realisation that _I_ didn't know Ed's favourite colour. I didn't know his favourite food (although it could just have been anything that isn't milk), I didn't know what books liked to read, what he dreamed of, hell, I didn't even know his middle name. Wait… did he even _have_ a middle name? I didn't know, and that infuriated me.

I mean, how could I _not_ know these things? This was the boy that I loved more than anything in the world, and I didn't know shit about him. They say knowledge is power…and well… okay, I don't know where I'm going with that analogy exactly, but I think you can see what I'm trying to say. I wanted to know everything about Ed. Every little detail no matter small or unimportant it was, because well… Because when all the almost pointless little details came together, they made something so beautiful that I couldn't even begin to comprehend it.

"How have we never talked about stuff like this before?" I asked, we'd completely skipped over the kind of small talk people awkwardly made on early dates. We didn't know anything about each other. At all.

"I dunno, I guess we've always had something bigger to talk about." Ed replied. Well, that _did_ make sense, I guess. We'd always had something a little more important on or minds than just us. But I wasn't going to have that anymore, because what was more important to me than Ed?

Nothing. So what excuse did I have not to know everything about him?

"Well, that's not going to happen anymore." I leaned on my elbow as I turned to face him. "I want to know everything about you. Everything." I smiled at Ed.

"That's a bit of a broad topic." Ed laughed. I laughed too. It was nice. We laughed and we talked for hours, learning a little more about each other with every minute.

"Yeah, I miss my parents too." I said as Ed talked about his mother. I watched Ed blink in shock for a couple of times before I'd realized what I'd said.

"Your parents are…" Ed began.

"Dead. When I was little." I said. Of course I hadn't told Ed about my parents. I'd barely told anyone about my parents, other than Riza, Maes and a few other people. It wasn't that I was ashamed to be an orphan, there was nothing wrong with it. I just didn't want everyone treating me differently just because I didn't have my mother and father growing up. Well, I guess now that I thought about it, I should have started to get a little bit more used to people treating me differently around about then.

"And you didn't tell me?" Ed said, surprised.

"It's a pretty hard thing to just put into a conversation. "Oh, how's work going?" "Great, oh by the way my parents died when I was a little boy."" I said a little sarcastically.

"I know, but how could you _not_ tell me something that important about you? I mean, I always thought Madame Christmas was your mother." Ed said.

"No, but she's close enough anyways. She's my aunt, my dad's sister to be more specific. Although by now she's like a mother to me. And about not telling you, well I didn't tell anyone, really. Just a few people who were really close to me. I wanted to be treated like everyone else, I didn't need people feeling sorry for me." I said, playing with his hair again with my free arm.

"How did they die?" Ed asked softly.

"Car crash."

"Is that why you don't drive?" Ed asked.

"It's half of the reason."

"What's the other half?" Ed asked. I blushed and looked down.

"I couldn't pass the test." I admitted shamefully. Ed bit his lip, trying not to laugh.

"Seriously?" He snickered.

"Hey! It's not funny!" I retorted hotly.

"So is that why you get Hawkeye to drive you everywhere?" He joked. I rolled my eyes at him, not wanting to talk about it anymore than I had to. I leaned over and kissed him on the nose.

"Enough about my inability to drive. We should probably start heading back soon." With all the time that we'd spent talking, the sun had sunk further into the sky, which was now a peachy-orangey colour. The sunset looked beautiful, and we both stopped for a second to admire it. It was nice once in a while to just stop and stare at the sky without reason or need.

"I think we can stay a little longer." Ed said as he ran one hand down my chest, leaving a strange but at the same time enjoyable tingling feeling in its wake. I knew what this was about.

"Ed…" I breathed.

"Oh, come on. Please?" He begged.

"That's not a very persuasive argument." I replied, as Ed's hand hesitated at my waist.

"I _want_ you to. Does that make it wrong? It's legal." He snuggled closer to me, running his lips from my collarbone slowly up to my chin

"It's not the law I'm worried about, Ed. You're nearly half my age." I tilted my chin upwards automatically as Ed's lips climbed further up my neck. How could something feel so wrong, but so right at the same time? I tried to summon the will to push him away, not roughly, but just to show that it wasn't going to happen. My body, however, flatly refused to do so, as if saying that it clearly knew what it wanted.

"But that doesn't matter Roy. Not now. I love you, please Roy, please love me." He whispered, his lips now inches from my ear.

"Ed…" I breathed again. Before I could say anything else, he rolled on top of me, spreading an amazing sensation all over my body. He smelled amazing. It was, well I didn't know what the hell it was, but it was amazing, it filled my lungs and made my heart race. His feet came down to my shins, I smiled as I thought about how short he was. His crotch was pressed against my stomach, and mine against his thighs. I was hard now, and so was Edward. I exhaled as he carried on trailing kisses all over my neck.

My body wanted this. _I_ wanted this. I'd deal with whatever came afterwards in the morning. I reached out and stroked Ed's hair.

"It's going to hurt, you know."

"I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay." I whispered the last word.

**LLF here! Sorry for leaving this story off in such a place (I know, I deserve to be shot, don't I?). Anyways, please enjoy this chapter and REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! PLEASE! The more reviews, favs and alerts I get, the quicker Roy and Ed will GET IT ON! So please REVIEW!**


	24. Sex

We can be prissy about it, but that can't change the fact that sex is an instinct. It's built into the human mind to have sex, (well...apart for asexuality, but there's a difference between true asexuality and the majority of people who say they are. It's a long story and you're probably going to want to google it in incognito mode if you want to know the whole story) so does it really matter if it's with a man or a woman, or what age they are? Society tells you what to think, but you reach a point when you don't care any more.

Screw society.  
Have sex.  
(And use a condom)

* * *

"_Are you sure?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Okay." I whispered the last word._

I couldn't believe that I was going to do this. I was _actually_ going to do this. I was going to take this young boy's innocence. Okay, that sounded a lot creepier that I meant it to. But what I was doing was creepy right? But that didn't matter; there was no time to reconsider.

I felt Ed hands run down my chest, unbuttoning my shirt. His warm real hand and cold automail hand gently stroked my skin. I was surprised at how the automail felt, it was almost refreshingly cool on the warm night, like a cold drink on a hot day. Slowly, I pulled off his red jacket and the black one underneath. He removed my shirt completely and I did the same to the black T-shirt he wore. And then his hands travelled down my bare chest to my belt buckle, giving me an erection. His skilful hands were quick with it, and pretty soon afterwards, I was lying on the blanket in just my boxers. My hands shook as I reached to do the same with Ed. I unbuckled the belt and pulled the pants off. Now all that was left was the underwear. We undressed each other quietly under the setting sun. My body (my erect penis especially) wanted this, _I_ wanted this, I couldn't justify it in any way, but I didn't have to… I didn't want to any more. I wanted Ed.

"So do you want me to bend over, or…?" Ed asked.

"No. Lie down face-first, it'll hurt less." I said, and watched as Ed followed my instructions. I breathed in. Here came the moment of truth. I climbed on top of him, supporting myself on my arms as to not crush the little boy with my weight.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked again, my voice faltering a little.

"What, are you backing out?" Ed asked into the blanket lying beneath the two of us.

"No. I just…" I trailed off.

"Yes. I'm sure. I'll be fine. Just do it." "He said. I took in a deep breath and mentally prepared myself. With hands that were still shaking, I reached for Ed's rectum, half fearful of… well I don't know what I was scared of. I just was. It was like _I_ was the one losing my virginity, even though that ship had sailed a long time ago.

I reached inside with two fingers and slowly pulled them apart, stretching the opening. Beneath me, Ed stiffened in response to the pain that he was without doubt feeling.

"Are you okay?" I asked worriedly. "We can stop at any time if you want to."

"I'm fine." Ed breathed. "Keep going."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure. Just _do it!_" He hissed. I guess that I couldn't argue with that. I pulled the fingers out and put three in this time, repeating the procedure. Once again, Ed stiffened below me, I hesitated and he urged me on. After pulling my fingers out the second time, I paused for longer, trying to convince myself that people had done this thousands of times before. It wasn't going to go wrong; it wasn't going to cause him extreme amounts of pain. It would hurt a little and then it would feel good. So why was I so worried about Ed? What was making me feel like I was going to hurt him? I didn't know, and I couldn't think about it for too long. Now wasn't the time for thinking. Now was the time for action.

I was in after four thrusts. Ed gasped at the first one, but once I was in properly, he let out a breath of was I guessed was relief.

And then, pleasure. As I thrust into him, I felt something that if I wanted to be cliché, I could say that I'd never felt with any other person before. No woman I'd ever known had made me feel this good, this euphoric. Ed seemed to be feeling the same way, and not before long, the quiet hills and fields were filled with the sounds of our moaning and groaning. I reached the point when I couldn't hold it back any longer, and I had to cum. After that I sighed, pulling out, and got up off of Ed, lying beside him.

"Are you okay?" I asked running a hand through his long golden hair that was splayed out all over the blanket.

"Yes," He said, moving into a sitting position, "It was fantastic."

"Thanks." I smiled.

"Are _you_ okay?" He asked me. I frowned for a second as I thought about the question. He wasn't asking about how I was physically, of course. It was pretty obvious that he wanted to know if I _felt_ okay. If I felt all right, or if I thought that I was going to burn in the deepest pits of hell reserved for pedophiles and puppy rapists.

And to tell you the truth, I did. Not the burning in hell thing, but the other one. The feeling okay with it. If it was possible, the sex had changed my opinion. Maybe it was wrong, maybe it wasn't, but it _felt_ better than anything I'd had before, and that had to account for something, right? Who could judge us, out here in love in the middle of nowhere?

Nobody. Nobody could judge us, and if any did, we wouldn't care, because we had each other, and that was all I'd ever want or need.

"You know, you're going to be sore tomorrow." I said to Ed.

"I know." He snuggled up to me and we watched as the sun sank into the horizon and the stars came into view

**Hiya! LLF here!**

**Roy: We know who you are. You've been writing this fic for nearly a year now.**

**LLF: Have I? Good for me for sticking through with this for so long. Anyways, so Roy and Ed finally had sex! YAY! And I'm SUPER sorry for this chapter being so short, but I just couldn't think of anything else to read. I promise that the next one will be better. If the sex scene is crappy, that's because it's my first one, so PLEASE TELL ME HOW I CAN MAKE IT BETTER! And also, thanks to my gay friend who likes to describe the mechanics of gay sex at lunch. Without him, this chapter would suck even more! Love you Gaylord Fagotron/Father/Almighty Being/King of the Gays. **

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW**

**200 REVIEWS = A special surprise.**


	25. Happy

The next time it's sunny, sit outside at sunset with a drink and just stare at the horizon, then you'll know how I feel right now.

It was dark by the time we got back at the Rockbell house, a lot later than when we said we'd get back. But we sat down to dinner all the same. It was steaming hot homely food, the kind that you grew up getting tired of as a kid but as an adult you learn to miss more than anything in the world.

"You two have been spending a lot of time together." Pinako commented. "I didn't know you got on so well."

"Yeah," Winry added. "Usually when he's here, Ed's complaining about you. The Colonel did this, the Colonel said that. You'd think he was in love with you, the amount he usually complains, Sir." Ed and I exchanged looks for a second before we both burst into awkward nervous laughter.

"Love? Don't be ridiculous, Winry." Ed lied through his teeth.

"I just like to take care of my subordinates, Winry, and you don't have to call me sir." I replied.

"I didn't…" Winry began, looking confused. Looking back, she probably meant it as a joke, and we were just being extremely defensive. But you had to be defensive back then. The only other choice was to be sent to Laboratory 5 faster than you could say 'rainbow'.

The rest of that evening continued with the same awkwardness. For some reason, we both felt like we were walking on eggshells, that we were about to be exposed. We'd managed to pass of Ed's strange walk as muscle soreness attained during some sparring, but for some reason, we felt the need to be so very cautious. Maybe because we were around people who knew Ed so well, who could pick out when he was lying and always knew what was on his mind. Maybe it was something else. I should stop wasting time trying to work out all these tiny little details and get back to the main storyline anyways.

Ed's automail was ready the next morning. Apparently Winry had stayed up each night that we were here and worked on it without a break. I _still_ feel sorry for that girl, it couldn't be more obvious that she was in love with Ed if she ran after him screaming about her feelings (without a spanner in her hand would probably mean that she had a better chance). But all of her efforts were going to be wasted, because Ed couldn't love her, and I was one of the reasons why. Now that I think about it, I have really fucked this girl's life up. I mean, I killed her parents and then stole away the person she loved the most. I am one sick human being. But anyways, I'm getting off topic. Ed's automail was ready, so Winry just needed to install it or whatever the right word was. It was meant to be painful, wasn't it? The last time I'd been with Ed at one of these was when he got his the first time, after he'd tried to transmute his mother. But anyways, let's move away from that topic, because this story isn't about Ed's automail, it's about Ed and I, and love and some more crap like that.

After the surgery, Ed was in his room, packing up.

"Don't you need time to recover or something?" I asked as I stood in the doorway.

"Not really, not any more. I've done it so many times really that by now I'm used to it." I smiled. Ed was a brave kid, I'd never known anyone else to put up with so much shit in their lives and still go on with hope. It was one of the many things that I loved about him. I entered the room, walking up to him until I was right behind him, and then wrapped my arms around him.

"So, you're all ready to go back to work? You have a lot of reports that are overdue." I said. Ed rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I'll do them while you're doing your paperwork." He replied, and to be fair, I had to give him that one.

"Ed?" I heard Winry call from down the hallway. I instantly sprang back a foot and tried to switch to a conversation that would be considered more appropriate to have with an underage subordinate.

"And the miniskirt does wonders for a woman's legs. In a miniskirt, they generally look just so much more beautiful…" I trailed off as Winry entered the room and rolled her eyes at my conversation topic that was meant to be appropriate. Well, it was close enough really. I have to admit that it could've been worse.

"Are you sure you'll be fine? You don't want more time to recover?" She asked, her eyes pretty much sparkling with love for him. It made me pretty sad to look at really, the poor girl was eventually going to get her heart broken into lots of tiny little pieces.

"I'll be fine, Winry. You worry too much." Ed replied casually. How could he _not_ see how much Winry was into him? I mean, he isn't exactly good with emotions that aren't anger, but still, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that she loved him. Ed's response earned him a hit on the head with the spanner she was holding.

"Of course I worry! That's my best piece of work! It might get damaged." She said angrily.

"_It might get damaged?_ What about me?!"

"Why would I care about a little midget?"

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT THEY'RE THE SAME HEIGHT AS THUMBELINA, YOU MACHINE-OBSESSED FREAK WITH NO SEX APPEAL?!" Ed yelled back at the short jibe. I don't think it's possible for anyone to ever get tired of watching Ed get angry when people call him short. It's just a thing that would almost always make you smile. I watched the two teenagers throw insults back and forth for what must have been a good fifteen minutes. They'd seemed to have forgotten that I was still in the room, but at that point, I really didn't mind too much. We weren't in danger of our dirty little secret _(A/N Awesome song)_ being exposed, so we had no reason to worry, did we? Right now was the perfect time to just sit back and watch the clouds roll across the sky. There'd be a lot of clouds, and maybe even a couple storms later, but the sky was still mostly blue at this point, and if we didn't take the time to stop and look, it'd be lost under the grey clouds before we knew it.

**Hey! It's LLF here with and extremely short chapter! **

**Sorry about how short it is. I've just been super busy because my English teacher seems to think that it's a good idea to set us 2 chapters of reading and 6 questions that each need to be answered by a paragraph with a quote in them each night. Apparently he's not even going to mark them… That makes me angry.**

**Secondly, I've recently become a FrUK shipper, so yeah… FrUK FTW**

**Thirdly, I have something a little more important to talk about. At my school, we're doing something called the Inside Ride, which is where you raise money to help children dealing with the after-effects of cancer and it's treatment (e.g. blindness, amputations, trouble getting back into school, ect.) by riding exercise bikes. IT'S GONNA BE SO MUCH FUN! If you guys want to donate, tell me so in the reviews and I'll post the link with the next chapter, because my school hasn't made their site for it yet… Also, we need costumes, so I was wondering whether any of you guys had awesome costumes for a 6 person team that has to be comfortable to ride bikes in. (Please no Anime/Manga ideas. The point is that it has to be something everyone else will get.**

**REVIEW**

**PLEASE**

**200+ REVIEWS GETS A SURPRISE!**

**SO DOES 100 ALERTS!**


	26. SURPRISE!

**THIS IS A SPECIAL CHAPTER THAT I MADE DUE TO THE FACT THAT I GOT 200 REVIEWS! YAY! IT HAS NO EFFECT ON THE PLOT WHATSOEVER, AND WE'LL GET BACK TO THE PLOT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, I SWEAR! **

Pissing off co-workers can turn around to be a pain in the ass. And not the kind I like, either…

"Who that's working here would you want to see most in a miniskirt?" Havoc had asked in the office one day. We were all avoiding doing paperwork while Riza wasn't in the room, but unknown to us at that point, listening in on our fairly chauvinistic discussion.

"Hmm…" I replied, "I can only pick one?"

"Yeah." Havoc replied. I thought about it for a second, and then my eyes widened as a mental image came into my head. Telling them that I wanted to see Ed in a miniskirt didn't really seem like such a good idea. I needed a woman. My panicked brain decided that I'd blurt out the first female's name that came to my mind.

"Hawkeye!" I said quickly.

"Hawkeye?" Havoc smiled knowingly, "Nice pick!" Somehow, I felt like I was a teenager again, whispering the name of my crush to my best friend. Except the name of my crush wasn't Hawkeye, it was Ed.

I didn't get to my apartment until early the next morning. I'd stayed over at Ed's hotel room as long as I could without people getting suspicious. When I got back, I noticed that something was wrong before I even opened the door. It wasn't locked. I was sure that I'd locked it the day before, but I pushed it to the back of my mind. I only had time to get in and grab a clean uniform.

Except when I opened my wardrobe, all my clothes were gone.

All of them, but there was one garment in there that I would rather die than wear.

A hot pink miniskirt.

The next things that came into my mind were _I'm going to kill Riza_ and _Do I have to?_ I would have rather come into work naked. But I couldn't miss a day and after an evening with Ed, my clothes weren't exactly suitable for the workplace.

So I put on the miniskirt.

We were all wearing them, every male who worked under me as well. The colours differed, but we were all shirtless in miniskirts. I was fuming, but so was everyone else. I'd been wolf-whistled at about 20 times on my way to work.

"BWAHAHAHAHA!" Erupted from the doorway. Oh god, I did not need this now. At the doorway stood Ed, laughing his little lungs out at the sight of all of us.

"I love your new look, Mustang." He joked.

"Someone stole my clothes. This is all I have." I said. Ed shook his head and didn't reply. Instead, he pulled a camera out from underneath his cloak.

"Bastard!" Yelled Havoc and ran to tackle him, missing. I did the same too, except I met my mark, and pinned Ed up against the wall.

"This _never_ happened!" I hissed, "And now you're going to go get us some uniforms before anyone else sees us, okay!"

"Fine," he said, and then he bent his head closer to whisper "But you _do_ look dead sexy in a miniskirt."

**LLF here!**

**I am so very sorry for the wait and how short this chapter is, but I really wanted to do something special since I got 200 reviews and I just couldn't think up of anything for a while. **

**I'm also very sorry to Roy, Havoc, Breda, Falman and Fuery for having to go through that ordeal…**

**But please review, alert, fave and whatever else you want to do with this story.**

**Long days and pleasant nights,**

**LLF**


	27. Ball

Love drives you to do things that normally, you would have just given up on after the first five minutes of trying.

* * *

So I was back in the office, and back to the routine of hiding my relationship with Ed. Stolen kisses at moments when we were alone and the rare times that we could spend together without anyone figuring it out was about it. There's something particularly romantic about the thrill of getting caught, I could say. There's something exciting about having to check that you're alone, or make sure there's no-one else around. But that gets boring pretty quickly and soon, we wanted to not have to hide any more.

"So, have you got a date for the ball yet?" Havoc asked casually one Thursday.

"Wait, what ball?" I said, confused. I hadn't been sleeping much for the past few nights, and my attention span at work was probably less than that of a goldfish's. Somehow, I'd happened to miss hearing about what was supposed to be one of the biggest events of the century.

"To celebrate the treaty with Aerugo." Havoc said slowly, as if I was incompetent, "You know, the one everyone's been talking about for the past month? There's going to be a whole lot of high-ranking officers from both countries there, I thought you would've already known. It seems like the perfect was to suck up to them."

"Oh! That thing! No. I haven't asked anyone yet." I said quickly.

"You'd better soon, it's next Friday." He said. Right now, the ball did not sound that interesting to me. I mean, it would be a great way to be able to talk to some of the people up at the top and try and make a promotion more likely for myself, but at the same time, I didn't want to spend a whole night in a room with a whole bunch of people I barely knew, smiling and dancing with women. Just because I'm gay, it doesn't mean that I like to dance.

But also, there was the question of who to go with. I couldn't go alone, that would not look good at all, and where was I supposed to find a date on such short notice. It wasn't like I could go with Ed. I'd walk into the hall with my arm around his and probably be kicked right back out, and then a whole list of horrible things that for some reason, most citizens of Amestris don't really seem to care about very much. Going with Ed wouldn't work. I needed a woman who I could fake-date for one night.

Most guys at this point would go through a mental list of all their female friends, except for the fact that I don't have any female friends. At all, unless you count Riza, but I don't know if I can count Riza as just a friend when she feels about me the way that she does.

In other words, I'm screwed. They better have an open bar at this dance thingy.

I spent the rest of the day racking my brain for a solution that didn't involve making things awkward between Riza and I, but I came up with nothing. Maybe if I'd had a sister or something, I'd be able to take her instead and it wouldn't look bad at all. But everyone was probably expecting the womanizing Colonel Mustang to show up to the ball with a drop-dead gorgeous woman on his arm. When it was finally time to go home, I sucked in my breath and faced the fact that I wasn't going to be able to get out of this without going to the ball with Riza. I just hoped that she wouldn't get too attached or take it too seriously.

"Erm… Colonel?" She asked as I was heading out the door.

"Yes, lieutenant?" I knew exactly what was coming.

"Well, I was wondering, if you don't already have someone to go the ball with, would you like to go with me?" She blushed slightly at the words. I feel like an asshole when I think about how much I played around with her feelings through all this, but there wasn't much else that I could do, was there?

"I would love to, lieutenant." I said, and left the office, not sure whether to be relieved or more worried.

I didn't want to go straight home. Some fresh air and exercise seemed like a good idea to me, it'd give me a nice chance to clear my head. I headed to the park. Maybe some nature would help get my mind off of things, because, you know, trees are awesome.

So I went for a walk in the park, hoping that it would make me feel nice and relaxed, but it didn't. Instead all it did was remind me of the promise I made to Ed before we left Ishbal. What was I doing, moping around about how I had to hide my real personality when right now was the time to change people's views. Since Bradley was out and the country went to being ruled by democracy, homosexuality was no longer considered an imprisonable offence, but that didn't mean that people were okay with it. They would never let a gay man lead their country, would they? I'd have to get to the top, and then find some way to change their opinions. With that much power, I could set up laws to prevent discrimination against those of different sexualities and help promote sexual health.

I had to do this. I'd have to keep this under cover for a while, but it would be worth it in the end right? If I could make it all okay, then Ed and I could finally be happy. So it didn't matter how long it would take, as long as I got to the final destination?

I got home to find Ed sitting on the couch.

"What the- How did you get in here?" I asked. I hadn't given him a key yet.

"Through the door." He said casually.

"But I'm sure I locked it."

"And I used alchemy to open it." He said. Oh yeah. I forgot about that. That's really a security flaw. Someone should design an alchemy-proof door or something.

"Oh." I came over to sit down beside him.

"So, are you all ready for the ball?" He asked.

"You know about that too?"

"Of course I do! I was invited."

"You were invited?"

"Well I am a State Alchemist. You _are_ really slow today."

"Hey! I've been stressing over who to take for most of the day!"

"You aren't going with me?" Ed joked.

"Yes, I'm going to walk into a room filled with most of my bosses with my arm around my teenage gay lover." I replied.

"Sounds like a good plan to me." He said, and then threw his arms around me. I knew he was sick of the hiding. We both were, but that was what we had to do. There just wasn't any other way that it could be. Well, unless we could go out and change the opinion of almost everyone in the country, but that would take a lot of work. And that work could wait until tomorrow. Right now, the only thing I wanted to do was hold Ed close to me.

**Hi! LLF here!**

**So first of all, sorry for not posting in a while, or here's a post which is on time… I actually have no clue when I last posted or what I even posted. I've been very busy doing absolutely nothing.**

**Secondly, PLEASE REVIEW AND FAVE/FOLLOW/ALERT/TELL YOUR FRIENDS! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! I BEG OF YOU**

**Thirdly, I can't wait for the swimming anime**

**Fourthly, If there are any Hetalia fans reading this, I want to know whether I should write a Parental Punk!UK and Child!US fic with maybe some FrUK in it about Iggy having to take care of Alfred, or a FrUK where France helps Iggy get over Alfred leaving him. PLEASE HELP ME PICK ONE TO WRITE NEXT!**

**Fifthly, I love you all and thanks for reading my story**

**Long days and Pleasant nights,**

**LLF**


	28. Redemption

I woke up the next morning to see Ed lying next to me, bathed in sunlight. The yellow-gold light caught his hair and made it glow. Actually, any part of him the sun could hit was glowing. Al was staying in Resembool for a while, so Ed was in Central alone. We'd taken this chance to spend some more time together, which was a very good move. He'd shown me just how much he made my life better, and I showed him just how bad my cooking was.

"_It'll be romantic!" Ed said, when he'd suggested that we stay in and cook together._

"_I don't think there's much romantic about a kitchen in flames." I'd replied._

"_Oh come on! You can't be that bad!" _

As it turns out, I could. I happened to start a small kitchen fire, nothing that needed the fire brigade, but still, enough to do damage to the kitchen. Ed had laughed it off and said that maybe he'd better do all the cooking in the future. We'd ordered Xingese food and ate it sitting on the couch. It was a magical evening.

But I'm getting off topic, and its crap like that that makes me late for work. I put on my uniform and grabbed breakfast quickly. By the time I had to leave, Ed was still fast asleep, so I just kissed him on the forehead and whispered a goodbye into his ear. He moved, rolled over and continued to sleep. I left the room quietly, trying not to wake my sleeping beauty.

And I just said 'sleeping beauty'. Seriously, if I don't stop soon, someone will be able to tell. So anyways, I carried on my journey to work. It started off pretty uneventful, I mean, no giant meteor fell out of the sky or anything else worth mentioning. I was getting late, so I had to take a shortcut through a less… what's the word… safe? Successfully policed? Murderous? Part of town. Anyways, I was walking through a route that kind of made me fear for my life, which is always a great thing to feel so early in the morning.

I walked quietly past possible drug dealers, young boys who tried to look like they were in gangs and homeless people trying not to look anyone in the eyes. But I did feel their eyes on me. They were staring so hard that I could almost hear what they were thinking. Probably something along the lines of me being so big and fancy with my high-up office job and blah blah blah.

The only thing that distracted me from the eyes of the residents was the walls, almost completely covered in graffiti. Sometimes it bore the name of a person or of a gang. Other times it was a slogan artfully done in multiple colours, often it wasn't too inspirational. However, the most common kind of graffiti was an insult quickly done in messy paint that was barely legible. Almost always they would use the word _gay, fag _or _faggot._

I guess that this shouldn't bother me that much, seeing as I come into contact with someone using the words as derogatory terms pretty much every day. But it still does. It's just a little hurtful constantly being portrayed as negative. Anyways, enough about me being whiney. I'm pretty sure you don't want me to ramble on about my problems for chapters on end. I walked as quickly as I could without having to break out into a jog. I came to an alleyway were I heard someone getting beat up.

"That's what you deserve, fag!" I head a man shout, followed by the sound of punches. Multiple voices roared in agreement of the man's statement as I heard another voice groaning. _Oh shit _I thought, wondering how likely it was that I'd be able to walk past without them noticing. It was worth a risk. I didn't need to be made late for work by getting beat up by a bunch of guys twice the size of me.

"Please! Stop!" The man being beaten cried. The other man just laughed.

"Aww… The poor fairy-boy's had enough, boys." The others joined in the laughter "Should we stop? Nah." I stopped, listening in to the fight now, staying hidden around the corner.

"I'm sorry! Please! Stop!" The man being beaten cried out again.

"No. You deserve to get your ass kicked and then we'll find your little lover-boy and do the same to him, too." The other man said. Instantly, I got the gist of why the fight, or I guess I should say attack, was happening. For a second I froze, before my mind flew back to the academy.

_"Ed, when I was in the academy, there was a guy in my dorm. He was great, so much fun to be around. Everyone liked him. And then they found out he was..." the next word caught painfully in my throat. "that he was gay. And they took him to the training ground and beat him. In front of everyone. He screamed and begged for mercy, but they didn't stop. And when the creaming finally did stop, they hung the body up where everyone could see it. I was__there__, Ed. I saw it."_

That's what I'd told Ed, but I'd missed out one thing. After realising that they weren't going to stop until he was dead, he'd stopped begging for them to stop and started begging for help instead. He started begging _me_ for help. He begged me for his life, and I did nothing.

I stood and watched as he died, because I didn't want to go against everyone else. I was responsible for his death, another bloodstain on my uniform.

But I wasn't going to let that happen again. I'd washed my uniform and I wasn't going to let it get dirty again. I'd stop this.

"Hey!" I yelled, walking into the alleyway, sounding a hell of a lot braver than I actually felt. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"It's okay. He's just a fag." One of the men said as I walked up to them. There were six of them, all a little stronger than me. They'd stopped hitting the man so that they could talk to me properly. At least they had a few manners.

"It's not okay." I said sternly, walking over to the leader, "He's a person too."

"Look, here I was, just walking down the street, when I find my brother and some guy all close and personal in an alleyway. So I'm thinking, what if someone ne sees them? I don't want people talking about my family like that, you know, saying one of us has got _the gay_, now do I? So I run down the alleyway and yell at them, the guy gets away, but I catch my brother, and I need to teach him a lesson now, don't I? Can't let him go on living like that, can I?"

"Yes you can. Leave him alone." I said coldly, preparing for a fight.

"What, are you one too?" He asked. And then I lost control. Maybe it was the derogatory terms, maybe it was his attitude, maybe I just wanted to repay my friend from the academy, but anyways, I must have spent more than half an hour beating the crap out of those guys.

"Are you okay?" I asked the man who'd been beaten once all the others had either been ass-whooped or run away. I called an ambulance, and then left once I was sure that the man would be fine. I didn't want to be around when the ambulance arrived. It would cause too much of a scene.

As I finished my way to work, I kept on thinking about the man. He'd told me his name, so I could go check on him in the hospital later. But that wasn't what I was thinking about. I was thinking about how long it would take me to get people to go from beating us up in alleyways to considering us just like everyone else.

It would be a long, barely possible road.

That is, if it was possible at all.

**HEY! LLF HERE WITH A SHINY NEW CHAPTER AFTER WHAT'S PROBABLY BEEN A WHILE!**

**Roy: Stop yelling!**

**LLF: Sorry! I'm just pumped right now. You see, not only is school almost over for the year, but next weekend, one of my favourite bands is performing in my city for free and I'm going! I'm REALLY pumped for it!**

**Also, please comment/favourite/follow/tell other people about this story!**

**And thanks for giving me 100 follows, I think that there might be a special about that coming up shortly…**

**Ed: Hey!**

**LLF: Hehe. BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP! THIS IS MY TALKING TIME!**

**Roy&Ed: Okay…**

**Anyways, you guys are a great audience and I love you all so much! Please keep on reading!**

**Long days and pleasant nights,**

**LLF**


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